Happy Curmudgeon Halloween

I hate Halloween.

You'd think that someone who loves theater as much as I would be orgasmic at the chance to dress up and act crazy.  Nope, not me.  My favorite acting gigs were the ones that provided a costume director, and all I had to do was put on what he/she set out for me to wear. (xxoo to my favorite Costume Boy - you know who you are)

I was all excited about the costume I'd selected for this year.  I dressed as a member of the Tea Party for Rita's soiree last weekend.  My friend, Marie, who identifies with the Tea Party, seemed a little miffed at the idea because she knows I'm a bleeding heart liberal.  But she didn't seem offended by my costume choice when I told her I wore a red, white, and blue dress with an 'Impeach Obama' campaign button, and that I carried a tea cup with a few tea bags.

The costume bombed.  Just bombed.

First of all, I had far too many people clapping me on the back and saying "Oh yeah!" when they noticed the campaign button.  When I explained I was a liberal and the costume was a joke, they backed away and stayed away for most of the evening.  After I put down the tea cup, no one knew who/what I was.  I like wigs, and so I chose a 50's style bob for the evening.  Unfortunately, it was a red wig.  Without my tea cup, the party guests thought I was trying to be Lucy Ricardo.  It is very tiring to carry a prop and continually explain your costume.  It just sucks the fun out of it. 

So when Dee wanted to dress up and go to a local restaurant tonight for dinner, I realized that my costume wasn't going to work.  Now, I have to come up with another costume, and that just feels like too darn much work.  I think I have settled on being a politically incorrect gypsy.  Of course, I can't find my zumba belt.  The long black wig I once wore is a tangled mess.  Most of the jewelry I used to dress up the ubiquitous black dress has been sold at a yard sale or two.  And my scarves?  I think I gave all of them to my nieces for dress up.  Sigh. 

Because of my age, once I do get dressed up, I can't do what really makes Halloween worthwhile.  I don't think too many people will open up their candy bowls to a sixty year old trick-or-treater.  I can eat a pillow case full of chocolate in one sitting.  And then, because I am old enough to drive, I can head over to the stores tomorrow for half-price Halloween candy.  Yep, I could do all that except I am an overweight diabetic and I do NOT dare indulge in a chocolate binge.

I hate Halloween.