This has been the worst summer of my life, far worse than the summer I broke my leg. This summer has been continuous emotional pain, which scars much more deeply than physical pain. It's been bad enough that people have actually felt sorry for me. Truth be known, I felt kind of sorry for me, too.
I love to travel, but I could not take the trip to China that my sister had planned for us. I have dismally accepted that I will probably never get back to China because my body is weakening as I age, and getting around in China isn't easy. (Heck, when I was in good health I needed a couple of farmers to carry me up the steps in Chung King, but that's another story and I digress.) So, I lived at her house and took care of enough animal poop that I felt like I was low man on the totem pole at a pet store. When I did get home to Maryland, I could count on a fight with the post office over the holding/unholding of my mail. I felt isolated and was pretty much left alone this summer because, well, you know, (say this in a hushed tone) she has family obligations.
My brother has been sick. He has gastrointestinal cancer and possibly pancreatic cancer. He began chemo, and I took him to and fro. The treatments have been brutal, and watching him suffer has taken a toll on me. I've been at his beck and call, and I hope my being here made his unrelenting misery somewhat more bearable. Though I did my best to always be cheerful no matter what he took out on me that day, the stress of worrying about him actually caused me to lose a little weight. If he couldn't eat, my stomach churned and I couldn't eat either. I watched him shrivel as the summer days passed us by.
Labor Day signals the end of summer, customarily with a hammering finality as the weather abruptly turns cold enough to need a sweater. Usually, we are disappointed because it's too cold or rainy to squeeze in those last few precious days at the pool. Cookouts get rained out. It's inevitable; the fun is over and it's back to the grind of school and work. However, this year, this strange summer, even Labor Day was different. My sister and I were remarking on what a beautiful weekend this had been, and how much we had enjoyed the sunny weather. I got to spend some time at the pool with my girls. We even had a barbecue at the neighbors'. So this year, Labor Day has come and gone in such a way that I can safely say that summer isn't over yet. It seems to have promised us that there are good days yet to come.
And I take that as a good omen.
