Dee and I were friends for a long time. So long that I can't even remember how we met. I think we met almost 40 years ago through Tidewater Players. If you know anything about community theatre, you know that those people are the ones who become friends for life. And we were.
Dee and I were single when "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" was a popular song; it was our going out song. And did we have fun! If there was a party to go to, we were there. We had a lot of fun nights dancing and drinking and laughing our heads off. The Crazy Swede was one of our favorite places. Eventually our single days of partying came to a bit of a slow-down when Dee met Jerry Ashby. She and Jerry both credit me with getting them together. She wanted to get to know him better, so I suggested she have some plumbing issues. He made a house call, and the rest was history.
They married at Dee's mom's house before a small group of friends and family. It was a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon. It wasn't long before Sarah was on the way. Dee wanted a baby, and she had waited a long time for her. Because of her high-risk pregnancy, Dee was hospitalized in the weeks before Sarah was born. She always told me how thankful she was that Jerry was able to spend so much time with her. And how blessed she felt to have Sarah in her life.
Sarah was the light of all of our lives. She went everywhere with her parents and her grandmother. And me, her Aunt Barb. One of my favorite memories was Dee, Shirley, Sarah, and I at a coffee house in North East. Sarah loved the music and she made the three of us sing and dance with her all night. These were the kinds of events that made Dee happy. Simple times. Being with her Mini-Dee was what made her happiest. And we were lucky to have a lot of fun times together. Dee became even happier, if that's possible, when her grandchildren were born. Her family is what she lived for.
This is a story probably few of you know. Did you know that Dee saved a life? We were in Ocean City, swimming in the hotel pool. These two little kids came to the pool on their own. Dee had her eye on them the whole time. And a good thing, too. The little girl walked down the steps and jumped in the pool. Where she sank like a rock to the bottom of the pool, making no attempt to resurface. Dee pulled her up, both of them terrified and spitting water. We could see their parents on the 3rd floor balcony with drinks in their hands. Oh my God, Dee was furious. She sent the children back upstairs and told them never to come back by themselves. I had to hold her back from going after those parents. Had we not been there, there was no one else in the pool area. That child would have drowned.
Some of my favorite Dee memories involve holidays, especially the Fourth of July. My family would come from PA and stay at the Vandiver Inn, and we'd party all weekend. We'd watch the parades in front of our church or in front of the Inn. We never cooked out, but ate at the local restaurants or had pizza delivered. Sarah loved the carnival, and one of Dee's favorite memories was a night at the Carnival and Fr. Rory riding all the rides with Sarah. We traveled a lot and had some terrific trips. Ocean City became an annual tradition. Cape May NJ at Christmas time. A Caribbean cruise. The Allenberry Murder Mystery weekends. And one of our most memorable trips was the senior citizen bus trip we took down south to South Carolina and Georgia. We were sitting outside one night by the pool chatting and enjoying the fresh air. A bunch of guys were across the pool barbequeing. They called to us, Hey you girls want to come over and have a drink? They called us girls! We jumped up and joined them. When we glanced over at the motel, the people from our bus trip were plastered at the windows, their mouths dropped open and probably praying for our hedonistic souls. New Year's Eve was always special. Sarah would have her friends over and Dee had hers. We would drink and eat and laugh all night. Then at midnight we'd walk outside to watch the fireworks and then laugh some more. Laughter. It's the laughter I remember the most about all my time with Dee.
Dee was one of the most considerate and caring persons I ever knew. She started the annual Pancake Supper at St. John's Church. She and Jerry paid for everything and insisted it be a free dinner for whoever wanted to come. Lots of food, wonderful fellowship. She also began the annual Epiphany parties and gift exchanges at the church. Every holiday for years she sent cards and little gifts to friends of hers who lived alone and needed to know someone cared about them. She was a giver, both of her time and her money. Her generosity was huge, but not showy. She taught me a lot about generosity. Helping others is one of the many gifts she left me with.
There are 40 years of stories and remembrances I have. Far too many to put into a Eulogy. I will treasure all my memories of Dee, all of them. I can't believe my Dee is gone. She has filled so many years of my life. She was every bit as much my sister as Helen is. I want to end with a short poem. I read this poem once before, and that was to say goodbye to our dear James. Today, I say goodbye to my dear Dee.
