The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. Where better to share than on my blog?
When I left my sister's house, I decided to use that handy dandy feature on my car's dashboard called "TRAF." I know that it uses the radio to search for traffic problems, but I never used it before so I wasn't sure how it worked. Since we're talking holiday weekend, I pushed the button.
The radio searched and the words "SEEK TRAF" flickered as it did its job. However, I glanced over when I could see out of the corner of my eye that the words had stopped flashing. A song was playing and these words appeared where the flickering words had been, "PRAY TO GOD."
In my typical fashion, I responded with, What the hell?
Not one to take chances, I immediately prayed. Then I listened to the music, figuring I'd stumbled across a Christian music station that could somehow channel its message onto my radio screen. No, just a regular old station. So, I pushed the traffic button again, and the radio started its search. It stopped on a few stations, but never again during the ninety minute ride home did that particular message appear.
So I ask you, what happened? Did I indeed get a message from above? Was it a message for me alone? Am I supposed to share this message with the rest of the world? Has something like that ever happened to anyone else?
I don't mess with God; I need Him too much. So I prayed, for clear roads, safe travels, family, friends, and the health of those close to me. And if I have motivated you to say a prayer or two, can you spare one for my brother as he begins a serious battle with cancer? And one for his family who are preparing to fight this with him?
Thanks.
Monday, May 25, 2015
Sunday, May 10, 2015
Mother's Day 2015
This week, I've read a lot of blogs and commentaries bemoaning Mother's Day. Many of the writers complained about the sadness of the holiday due to lost children, incomplete pregnancies, and fertility issues. While I have not personally experienced the depths of their pain, I can understand this much. Mother's Day and all the hoopla surrounding it comes once a year. You can't stop it, but you can work with your reaction to it. Do not expect churches to be "compassionate" to you and not recognize mothers on that day. They will. And this year, when Fr. James called all the mothers to the center aisle for a special blessing, I went with them. Although I have never conceived, borne, or lost a child, I, too, am a mother.
I am a mother to my dog, Trixie, (and before her my dog, Lucy). I am responsible to feed her, exercise her, keep her healthy, and mostly to love her. I love my little companion. I call her my baby and I am her Mommy.
I am a mother to my Godchild, Sarah. I was an active part of her life as she grew up, but now that she is married I don't see her as much. She is always in my prayers, and that is what a Godmother does. She knows I will be there when she needs me.
I was a mother to many of my students. So many of them came from lonely homes, and I was there in school to build them up and care about them. In fact, every now and then, I'd have an angry parent tell me she was sick of her kid always talking about me and would I back off. Many of them came to me with personal crises, and they trusted me enough to let me pass them on to the person who could do more to help them than just listen. I paid for lunches. I bought clothing. I loved them.
And I continue to love and care about my former students. Right now, I am mothering one lonely soul who literally has no one in this world. All he asks of me is to listen. To care. I have found jobs for him to do at my house so I can pay him because he will not take money from me any other way. With my friend Nadine, we are working to get him some stability in his life.
I mother my siblings. My sister knows that she can come to me for anything, and I will help. With our brother's current illness, he needs me in a way that a mother is needed. I sat with him all day every day that he was in the hospital. I put cold compresses on his forehead. I fed him ice chips when the nurses told him no gulping water. I did whatever he wanted so he wouldn't have to wait for an overextended nurse. I am the eldest sibling. I remember when Mom passed away thinking, I am the adult now.
I mother my nieces. I was with Helen when she adopted them in China. I call them my children that I keep at my sister's house. I have never loved two people more in my life. I have paid for private school, and I'm saving for college. I take them to horse camp, shopping, to the pool, the movies, and out to dinner. In November I am taking the family on a cruise. That is something my Mother would have done had she lived a little longer. So, I'm doing it for her.
So yes, I stepped into the center aisle at church and claimed my blessing. For I, too, am a mother.
I am a mother to my dog, Trixie, (and before her my dog, Lucy). I am responsible to feed her, exercise her, keep her healthy, and mostly to love her. I love my little companion. I call her my baby and I am her Mommy.
I am a mother to my Godchild, Sarah. I was an active part of her life as she grew up, but now that she is married I don't see her as much. She is always in my prayers, and that is what a Godmother does. She knows I will be there when she needs me.
I was a mother to many of my students. So many of them came from lonely homes, and I was there in school to build them up and care about them. In fact, every now and then, I'd have an angry parent tell me she was sick of her kid always talking about me and would I back off. Many of them came to me with personal crises, and they trusted me enough to let me pass them on to the person who could do more to help them than just listen. I paid for lunches. I bought clothing. I loved them.
And I continue to love and care about my former students. Right now, I am mothering one lonely soul who literally has no one in this world. All he asks of me is to listen. To care. I have found jobs for him to do at my house so I can pay him because he will not take money from me any other way. With my friend Nadine, we are working to get him some stability in his life.
I mother my siblings. My sister knows that she can come to me for anything, and I will help. With our brother's current illness, he needs me in a way that a mother is needed. I sat with him all day every day that he was in the hospital. I put cold compresses on his forehead. I fed him ice chips when the nurses told him no gulping water. I did whatever he wanted so he wouldn't have to wait for an overextended nurse. I am the eldest sibling. I remember when Mom passed away thinking, I am the adult now.
I mother my nieces. I was with Helen when she adopted them in China. I call them my children that I keep at my sister's house. I have never loved two people more in my life. I have paid for private school, and I'm saving for college. I take them to horse camp, shopping, to the pool, the movies, and out to dinner. In November I am taking the family on a cruise. That is something my Mother would have done had she lived a little longer. So, I'm doing it for her.
So yes, I stepped into the center aisle at church and claimed my blessing. For I, too, am a mother.
Friday, May 8, 2015
The Violence in Baltimore
Most of the country is aware that Baltimore was the scene of violent riots recently. Much of the country blames a corrupt and racist police force. The Mayor, who has been severely criticized for her lack of action, seems to think that an investigation into the police department will root out all the evil and make the Baltimore streets once again safe, and most importantly, tourist friendly.
If only it were so simple.
Hopefully, what I'm about to write will not be brushed off as racist by some who read this. As has been pointed out to me before, I supposedly cannot speak of black issues because I am not black. If you want to believe that, then don't speak for me if you are not white. Ok? Have we gotten that out of the way? This is a people issue. (However, for the record, if not for white people, the NAACP would never have been formed.) My track record as a teacher reveals my dedication to educating my students about our country's struggles over racial issues. When other teachers were talking again about Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks during Black History Month, my students were studying the integration of Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas and the impact of the Civil Rights Movement on our country. They presented a choral reading of the timeline of our country's black history to their peers during an assembly. I went to Darby Township Elementary School where I was a minority. My mother was the first parent in my class to integrate birthday parties. She got calls from the neighbors for this because they objected to my black athletic friend leading a bunch of us in a running game around the neighborhood. I overheard two of my students discussing me once. Student A insisted I was racist. Student B replied, "Ah she ain't racist. She's just mean." I rest my case.
Baltimore City is a hot mess, and the idea that ferreting out bad cops will make it all good again, is simplistic and unrealistic. The problems run so deeply that how they'll ever be solved is beyond me. But maybe if lawmakers and leaders would get real and identify some of the difficult issues, a start could be made.
Let's begin with the family. I'm not going to throw out statistics, but too many of the children born in Baltimore are conceived by mistake, as the result of an act of recreation, as an attempt to hold onto a man, or in an attempt to prove some guy's manhood. This shit has got to stop. Babies are cute. But they have needs beyond anything that teen moms and social services can provide; it is not long before their constant crying and never ending need for attention is no longer cute. Once they pass the cute kid stage, city children are often neglected. These kids are susceptible to gang life, spousal abuse, drug dealing/using, theft, and a value system based upon what they see on TV. (NOT ALL KIDS. Ok? Let's get that out of the way too.) If a male wants to father a baby, then that male needs to pay child support. No, baby daddy, an occasional delivery of formula and diapers is not child support. Women need to use those free clinics and not get pregnant out of irresponsibility or the stupid, stupid idea that the guy will stick around because you have provided him with an heir. In the city, lots of girls could be hatching his seeds. Our city has a growing population of teens who have been raising themselves, who do not go to school, who seek gangs for support, and are ripe and ready to let off some steam through violent measures. The rioters were not born to pillage and destroy. However, the lack of the family unit, in my opinion, has contributed to a breakdown in the city. The gangs are the new family units. Crime is the new family recreation. The fights over territory, the fights over "respect,"and the absolute warlike activities in the city are the result of these communities being destroyed from within. Yes, there is a lot of police activity in the city. But are the Baltimore police going into the city and targeting blacks for the hell of it as so many seem to believe? There is a tidal wave of crime in the city. Crime = police response.
When the same few shockingly glaring examples of police brutality are repeatedly broadcast by the media to convince us that the entire Baltimore City Police Department is full of violent, crooked, racist, incompetent police, I get angry. Yes, there are bad cops. Yes, there are arrogant power hungry cops. Yes, there are good cops having a bad day. And yet, what would our city be without its police force? I feel for the police men and women who go into the city daily to restore peace, solve crimes, rescue the innocent, get drugs off the streets, and protect the public. They are often greeted with vulgarities that the general public thinks cops should just ignore. They are physically assaulted. They are threatened with guns. They are shot in the face. They are lied to. They witness the same people whom they struggle to arrest being released to re-offend. Nobody has their back. Seems like Freddie Gray, with an arrest record for drugs and all the related criminal activities that go with it, has the support of the media and a community looking to villainize a police department.
The Mayor seems content that arrests have been made in the Freddie Grey case. I don't know what to think. If the police purposely denied him a humane arrest and proper medical care, they were definitely out of line. Such actions are wrong and shameful to the police department. However, will anyone ever really know what happened that night? One report states he was not buckled in, leading to his injuries. Another report states he purposely tried to injure himself. Who knows? The federal investigators want to determine if Baltimore police "...use excessive force, including deadly force, conduct unlawful searches,seizures and arrests, and engage in discriminatory policing." The Mayor is convinced this investigation will reveal the truth of what happened that night and what chronically happens in the police department. We'll see. I don't know what is next in the Freddie Grey case. What I do know is that the future of violence and discord in Baltimore City rests on its outcome.
Black lives matter. Police lives matter. When do we wise up and realize that all lives matter? Is this 2015 or 1968? Are we a civilization or a dystopia? So many questions; so few answers.
If only it were so simple.
Hopefully, what I'm about to write will not be brushed off as racist by some who read this. As has been pointed out to me before, I supposedly cannot speak of black issues because I am not black. If you want to believe that, then don't speak for me if you are not white. Ok? Have we gotten that out of the way? This is a people issue. (However, for the record, if not for white people, the NAACP would never have been formed.) My track record as a teacher reveals my dedication to educating my students about our country's struggles over racial issues. When other teachers were talking again about Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks during Black History Month, my students were studying the integration of Central High School in Little Rock, Arkansas and the impact of the Civil Rights Movement on our country. They presented a choral reading of the timeline of our country's black history to their peers during an assembly. I went to Darby Township Elementary School where I was a minority. My mother was the first parent in my class to integrate birthday parties. She got calls from the neighbors for this because they objected to my black athletic friend leading a bunch of us in a running game around the neighborhood. I overheard two of my students discussing me once. Student A insisted I was racist. Student B replied, "Ah she ain't racist. She's just mean." I rest my case.
Baltimore City is a hot mess, and the idea that ferreting out bad cops will make it all good again, is simplistic and unrealistic. The problems run so deeply that how they'll ever be solved is beyond me. But maybe if lawmakers and leaders would get real and identify some of the difficult issues, a start could be made.
Let's begin with the family. I'm not going to throw out statistics, but too many of the children born in Baltimore are conceived by mistake, as the result of an act of recreation, as an attempt to hold onto a man, or in an attempt to prove some guy's manhood. This shit has got to stop. Babies are cute. But they have needs beyond anything that teen moms and social services can provide; it is not long before their constant crying and never ending need for attention is no longer cute. Once they pass the cute kid stage, city children are often neglected. These kids are susceptible to gang life, spousal abuse, drug dealing/using, theft, and a value system based upon what they see on TV. (NOT ALL KIDS. Ok? Let's get that out of the way too.) If a male wants to father a baby, then that male needs to pay child support. No, baby daddy, an occasional delivery of formula and diapers is not child support. Women need to use those free clinics and not get pregnant out of irresponsibility or the stupid, stupid idea that the guy will stick around because you have provided him with an heir. In the city, lots of girls could be hatching his seeds. Our city has a growing population of teens who have been raising themselves, who do not go to school, who seek gangs for support, and are ripe and ready to let off some steam through violent measures. The rioters were not born to pillage and destroy. However, the lack of the family unit, in my opinion, has contributed to a breakdown in the city. The gangs are the new family units. Crime is the new family recreation. The fights over territory, the fights over "respect,"and the absolute warlike activities in the city are the result of these communities being destroyed from within. Yes, there is a lot of police activity in the city. But are the Baltimore police going into the city and targeting blacks for the hell of it as so many seem to believe? There is a tidal wave of crime in the city. Crime = police response.
When the same few shockingly glaring examples of police brutality are repeatedly broadcast by the media to convince us that the entire Baltimore City Police Department is full of violent, crooked, racist, incompetent police, I get angry. Yes, there are bad cops. Yes, there are arrogant power hungry cops. Yes, there are good cops having a bad day. And yet, what would our city be without its police force? I feel for the police men and women who go into the city daily to restore peace, solve crimes, rescue the innocent, get drugs off the streets, and protect the public. They are often greeted with vulgarities that the general public thinks cops should just ignore. They are physically assaulted. They are threatened with guns. They are shot in the face. They are lied to. They witness the same people whom they struggle to arrest being released to re-offend. Nobody has their back. Seems like Freddie Gray, with an arrest record for drugs and all the related criminal activities that go with it, has the support of the media and a community looking to villainize a police department.
The Mayor seems content that arrests have been made in the Freddie Grey case. I don't know what to think. If the police purposely denied him a humane arrest and proper medical care, they were definitely out of line. Such actions are wrong and shameful to the police department. However, will anyone ever really know what happened that night? One report states he was not buckled in, leading to his injuries. Another report states he purposely tried to injure himself. Who knows? The federal investigators want to determine if Baltimore police "...use excessive force, including deadly force, conduct unlawful searches,seizures and arrests, and engage in discriminatory policing." The Mayor is convinced this investigation will reveal the truth of what happened that night and what chronically happens in the police department. We'll see. I don't know what is next in the Freddie Grey case. What I do know is that the future of violence and discord in Baltimore City rests on its outcome.
Black lives matter. Police lives matter. When do we wise up and realize that all lives matter? Is this 2015 or 1968? Are we a civilization or a dystopia? So many questions; so few answers.
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