I hate Halloween.
You'd think that someone who loves theater as much as I would be orgasmic at the chance to dress up and act crazy. Nope, not me. My favorite acting gigs were the ones that provided a costume director, and all I had to do was put on what he/she set out for me to wear. (xxoo to my favorite Costume Boy - you know who you are)
I was all excited about the costume I'd selected for this year. I dressed as a member of the Tea Party for Rita's soiree last weekend. My friend, Marie, who identifies with the Tea Party, seemed a little miffed at the idea because she knows I'm a bleeding heart liberal. But she didn't seem offended by my costume choice when I told her I wore a red, white, and blue dress with an 'Impeach Obama' campaign button, and that I carried a tea cup with a few tea bags.
The costume bombed. Just bombed.
First of all, I had far too many people clapping me on the back and saying "Oh yeah!" when they noticed the campaign button. When I explained I was a liberal and the costume was a joke, they backed away and stayed away for most of the evening. After I put down the tea cup, no one knew who/what I was. I like wigs, and so I chose a 50's style bob for the evening. Unfortunately, it was a red wig. Without my tea cup, the party guests thought I was trying to be Lucy Ricardo. It is very tiring to carry a prop and continually explain your costume. It just sucks the fun out of it.
So when Dee wanted to dress up and go to a local restaurant tonight for dinner, I realized that my costume wasn't going to work. Now, I have to come up with another costume, and that just feels like too darn much work. I think I have settled on being a politically incorrect gypsy. Of course, I can't find my zumba belt. The long black wig I once wore is a tangled mess. Most of the jewelry I used to dress up the ubiquitous black dress has been sold at a yard sale or two. And my scarves? I think I gave all of them to my nieces for dress up. Sigh.
Because of my age, once I do get dressed up, I can't do what really makes Halloween worthwhile. I don't think too many people will open up their candy bowls to a sixty year old trick-or-treater. I can eat a pillow case full of chocolate in one sitting. And then, because I am old enough to drive, I can head over to the stores tomorrow for half-price Halloween candy. Yep, I could do all that except I am an overweight diabetic and I do NOT dare indulge in a chocolate binge.
I hate Halloween.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Halloween Costumes for Adults
Another Halloween is approaching and once again, I need to figure out what to wear. Some adults I know are excited by this challenge. My lawn mower guy is dressing up as a Rubic's cube for his daughter's Halloween parade. He was describing the intricacies of his costume as my eyes glazed over. If it can't be done with the ubiquitous black dress then I don't want to hear it. For the past two years, I've gladly donned my favorite costume - Magenta from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Sadly, I am under orders to leave Magenta in the costume box this year. After days of brainstorming whether to go as scary or funny, I have finally decided what to dress as this year. Let me describe the costume to you, and see if you can guess.
I have a very patriotic red, white, and blue dress. With it I will wear two campaign buttons. One will say, Impeach Obama. The other will say, 'Murica - Love it or Leave it. I'll wear a blond wig in a sort of beehive shape. No, I won't be dressing as a Baltimore Hon, but that was a good guess. If I'm lucky, I'll locate a colonial tri-corner hat before Saturday. In my hand I will carry a fancy tea cup with a couple of tea bags in it. Got it now? Yep, this year I am dressing as a member of the Tea Party.
I opted to go for scary.
I have a very patriotic red, white, and blue dress. With it I will wear two campaign buttons. One will say, Impeach Obama. The other will say, 'Murica - Love it or Leave it. I'll wear a blond wig in a sort of beehive shape. No, I won't be dressing as a Baltimore Hon, but that was a good guess. If I'm lucky, I'll locate a colonial tri-corner hat before Saturday. In my hand I will carry a fancy tea cup with a couple of tea bags in it. Got it now? Yep, this year I am dressing as a member of the Tea Party.
I opted to go for scary.
Friday, October 18, 2013
Computer Craziness
Does your computer drive you crazy? Mine does. Since retiring, I spend a lot of time on line. Too much time. Ridiculously too much time. So much time that I am too embarrassed to reveal the many hours. And when it doesn't work, my life goes into a spin. We're not talking Verizon going down for the tenth million time this year, we're talking the dreaded mechanical failure.
The keyboard on my laptop has suddenly stopped working. Any time I attempt to type a message or an email, all that shows is gibberish. (If you're wondering how I am writing this blog, I'm using someone else's computer). What the heck happened to it? I ran Avast scans for a few hours, but they revealed nothing. If I had a virus, wouldn't Avast tell me and then quickly clean it up? If the computer has done the unbearable - suddenly crashed - wouldn't I be unable to surf the net? I spent all last night trying different fixes. Nothing worked. Imagine what someone as obnoxiously opinionated as I goes through when she can't type a snappy retort to someone else's obnoxious opinion? Not pretty!
When I had no success with my keyboard, I turned to the other electronic in my house, my Nook. Of course, it was battery dead so I had to wait a few hours to charge it back up. By the time I gave up trying to get to my email on the Nook, I was ready to throw it against the wall. Tapping my fat fingers on the keyboard yielded nothing but mis-taps and wrong letters. I couldn't get the type big enough to read. In fact, I couldn't even get all the messages to come up. I yelled at it for refusing to cooperate with me. I swear it smirked evilly at me as it turned itself off.
For normal people, step three would have been to go to the smart phone. I only have a flip up stupid phone, and it probably had a low to dead battery anyway.
I can't remember how old my laptop is. If I follow the advice of the geeks, anything over a year is too old and should be replaced. Since all I use it for is emailing, blog writing, web surfing, candy crushing, words with friending, weather reporting, TV guiding, recipe locating (to be honest, I do little of that), and picture holding, I have no desire to own a super duper deluxe machine. For goodness sakes, I just spent $3000 to save my damn dog's life, and I so don't want another big expense.
What's a girl to do? Right now I have turned it off and I am going back to it Sunday night. If I'm lucky, I'll turn it on and type away. We'll just pretend that little glitch never happened. If I'm not lucky, and lately I seem to be in a luck funk, the keyboard will still be tuned into hyerogliphyics. Call Geek Squad? Decide to get a new one since the CD player on it hasn't worked since the day I dropped it, and now this is just another thing wrong? Decisions. Decisions.
The keyboard on my laptop has suddenly stopped working. Any time I attempt to type a message or an email, all that shows is gibberish. (If you're wondering how I am writing this blog, I'm using someone else's computer). What the heck happened to it? I ran Avast scans for a few hours, but they revealed nothing. If I had a virus, wouldn't Avast tell me and then quickly clean it up? If the computer has done the unbearable - suddenly crashed - wouldn't I be unable to surf the net? I spent all last night trying different fixes. Nothing worked. Imagine what someone as obnoxiously opinionated as I goes through when she can't type a snappy retort to someone else's obnoxious opinion? Not pretty!
When I had no success with my keyboard, I turned to the other electronic in my house, my Nook. Of course, it was battery dead so I had to wait a few hours to charge it back up. By the time I gave up trying to get to my email on the Nook, I was ready to throw it against the wall. Tapping my fat fingers on the keyboard yielded nothing but mis-taps and wrong letters. I couldn't get the type big enough to read. In fact, I couldn't even get all the messages to come up. I yelled at it for refusing to cooperate with me. I swear it smirked evilly at me as it turned itself off.
For normal people, step three would have been to go to the smart phone. I only have a flip up stupid phone, and it probably had a low to dead battery anyway.
I can't remember how old my laptop is. If I follow the advice of the geeks, anything over a year is too old and should be replaced. Since all I use it for is emailing, blog writing, web surfing, candy crushing, words with friending, weather reporting, TV guiding, recipe locating (to be honest, I do little of that), and picture holding, I have no desire to own a super duper deluxe machine. For goodness sakes, I just spent $3000 to save my damn dog's life, and I so don't want another big expense.
What's a girl to do? Right now I have turned it off and I am going back to it Sunday night. If I'm lucky, I'll turn it on and type away. We'll just pretend that little glitch never happened. If I'm not lucky, and lately I seem to be in a luck funk, the keyboard will still be tuned into hyerogliphyics. Call Geek Squad? Decide to get a new one since the CD player on it hasn't worked since the day I dropped it, and now this is just another thing wrong? Decisions. Decisions.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Things I Don't Understand
'Merica is pretty ugly lately. I've gotten into numerous conflicts on FB as I've argued over the cause/solutions to our country's problems. I will admit it, sometimes I just don't "get" how some people think. There are many things happening in our country that confound me and confuse me. The first is the uproar over the new requirement to purchase health insurance.
The argument is that the government shouldn't require people to buy insurance, especially if they can't afford it. Lots of people are enraged over that requirement. Ok, well then, where's the outrage over required car insurance? Isn't it the same principle? The government, in this case the state government, requires everybody to have insurance or you can't drive a car. In Maryland, you will not get tags for your car if you do not provide proof of insurance on your application. Sure, people drive without it, but it is against the law and you'll face consequences if caught. Right now, the only option for people without health insurance is to get really sick and then go to the emergency room. No preventative care for them, only emergency treatment. We, those of us paying for insurance, ultimately pay for the hospital visits of those without it. So is it with car insurance. Ever have an accident with someone who is not insured? Your insurance company will be stuck with all costs, and trust me, your future rates will pay them back. So, if someone could explain to me how requiring car insurance is different from requiring health insurance, I'd appreciate it. 'Cause frankly, I just don't understand.
The second thing that absolutely confounds me is kids involved in cyber bullying that leads to suicide. So much I don't understand about that. Why are kids so damn mean? Why do they take pleasure in driving someone into such a deep depression they choose to end their life? I taught middle school, and I dealt with bullying as best as I could. But, thanks to our social media, the stakes have risen to a new level. My sister works at a private school. She's told me about the cyber bullying going on at her school and the way families often "deal" with it. The parents come into school and demand the school do something about it. Huh? This is going on in their homes on their computers. Why is the school responsible? Is it because parents refuse to take some necessary steps themselves? Step one, parents, take the electronics away from your kids. No more Facebook accounts, no more texting, sexting whatever. Step two, get your bullied kid into counseling immediately. Ultimately, we can't control the behavior of others. So, get your kid and family the counseling they need. You may be very uncomfortable with what comes out during the sessions, but the help is imperative. How did society go from 'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me' to name calling leading to suicide? I just don't understand.
I don't understand our current Congress. These "public servants" are proving themselves to be anything but. It is the people, their constituents, who are being hurt by the current shutdown of America. Why are those in Congress so damn stubborn? Is it because they can no longer relate to the people who elected them since their pay checks haven't stopped? their health care is not in jeopardy? their immediate needs are being satisfied? Don't autocall me, Andy Harris, to tell me how proud you are to be stalling the government. Start doing your damn job! All of this turmoil is weakening the United States in the eyes of the world. I don't understand how anyone calling themselves a "patriot" doesn't get that. Will people remember these days and vote accordingly during the next election? I doubt it. It seems that electing politicians anymore is like the elections held in high schools, popularity contests. Elect me! Elect me! I'm good looking, I'm saying what you want to hear, and I have a lot of money to provide you with campaign buttons. Elect me! I'll pretend to listen to your concerns. Then, once in office I'll do whatever I want. I don't understand what has happened to America's elected officials. When did they give up representing and caring about their people?
A little off topic (or maybe not since America is getting fatter and fatter) the last thing I just don't get is how come I have been following my Weight Watchers diet faithfully for two weeks and I've only lost three pounds? Surely, I deserve to have lost at least ten, right?? I just don't understand it.
The argument is that the government shouldn't require people to buy insurance, especially if they can't afford it. Lots of people are enraged over that requirement. Ok, well then, where's the outrage over required car insurance? Isn't it the same principle? The government, in this case the state government, requires everybody to have insurance or you can't drive a car. In Maryland, you will not get tags for your car if you do not provide proof of insurance on your application. Sure, people drive without it, but it is against the law and you'll face consequences if caught. Right now, the only option for people without health insurance is to get really sick and then go to the emergency room. No preventative care for them, only emergency treatment. We, those of us paying for insurance, ultimately pay for the hospital visits of those without it. So is it with car insurance. Ever have an accident with someone who is not insured? Your insurance company will be stuck with all costs, and trust me, your future rates will pay them back. So, if someone could explain to me how requiring car insurance is different from requiring health insurance, I'd appreciate it. 'Cause frankly, I just don't understand.
The second thing that absolutely confounds me is kids involved in cyber bullying that leads to suicide. So much I don't understand about that. Why are kids so damn mean? Why do they take pleasure in driving someone into such a deep depression they choose to end their life? I taught middle school, and I dealt with bullying as best as I could. But, thanks to our social media, the stakes have risen to a new level. My sister works at a private school. She's told me about the cyber bullying going on at her school and the way families often "deal" with it. The parents come into school and demand the school do something about it. Huh? This is going on in their homes on their computers. Why is the school responsible? Is it because parents refuse to take some necessary steps themselves? Step one, parents, take the electronics away from your kids. No more Facebook accounts, no more texting, sexting whatever. Step two, get your bullied kid into counseling immediately. Ultimately, we can't control the behavior of others. So, get your kid and family the counseling they need. You may be very uncomfortable with what comes out during the sessions, but the help is imperative. How did society go from 'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me' to name calling leading to suicide? I just don't understand.
I don't understand our current Congress. These "public servants" are proving themselves to be anything but. It is the people, their constituents, who are being hurt by the current shutdown of America. Why are those in Congress so damn stubborn? Is it because they can no longer relate to the people who elected them since their pay checks haven't stopped? their health care is not in jeopardy? their immediate needs are being satisfied? Don't autocall me, Andy Harris, to tell me how proud you are to be stalling the government. Start doing your damn job! All of this turmoil is weakening the United States in the eyes of the world. I don't understand how anyone calling themselves a "patriot" doesn't get that. Will people remember these days and vote accordingly during the next election? I doubt it. It seems that electing politicians anymore is like the elections held in high schools, popularity contests. Elect me! Elect me! I'm good looking, I'm saying what you want to hear, and I have a lot of money to provide you with campaign buttons. Elect me! I'll pretend to listen to your concerns. Then, once in office I'll do whatever I want. I don't understand what has happened to America's elected officials. When did they give up representing and caring about their people?
A little off topic (or maybe not since America is getting fatter and fatter) the last thing I just don't get is how come I have been following my Weight Watchers diet faithfully for two weeks and I've only lost three pounds? Surely, I deserve to have lost at least ten, right?? I just don't understand it.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Dreams
Do you ever have bizarre dreams? I've been having them all of my life.
The one I awoke to this morning was excruciatingly embarrassing. I dreamed I was on a Murder Mystery cruise. Nothing wrong with that huh? Well, my roommate/partner/whatever you want to call him was a former student of mine who shall remain nameless. He got into an altercation at the bar because he didn't like the piece of cake he ordered, and he demanded his money be returned. His disapproving aunt was a friend of a friend of a friend who doesn't even know this guy. Why in the world did I dream of those two people? These are people with whom I have little to no personal contact. And why did I dream of them in a way that would make me blush if I were to tell the whole story? (I will not be telling the story. Once I told Ron Luloff about a dream I had of monkeys in different colors. He never looked at me the same way again.)
I had certain dreams as a kid that occurred so often, I remember them to this day. One of them was a pretty typical dream. I was able to fly, and I used to fly over the blacktopped playground of my elementary school. That's an easy one to understand; I longed to be free during the school day.
Another one I had all the time involved World War II. I lived in a hut on a tropical island. One day, soldiers invaded my hut. They didn't find me though because I had turned into an oval-shaped braided rug. They walked all over me, but I was safe from them and I could return to my natural state once they were gone. I had this dream a lot. Amateur psychologists? Have at it.
One dream I had during college involved my father. We were dressed as farmers with straw hats, overalls, and sh*t stoppin' boots. Our chickens were ready to hatch so we were taking them to the farmers' market to sell. Well, the truck broke down and the chickens hatched. Only they weren't chickens, they were baby ducks. As they ran all over the place, my dad was yelling at me. He blamed me for the mix-up with the eggs, and he was furious that I couldn't round up those bright yellow balls of fluff (yes, I dream in color). Are you amateur psychologists still on the job?
Far too many of my dreams leave me feeling anxious. While they aren't about something currently worrying me, I suspect the anxiety is from the worry I try to suppress. Do all adults have this kind of dream? Or are some of you having the sweet dreams we always wish for each other?
Please, if you dare, share your dreams. I'm curious. And I promise, I will not psychoanalyze you!
The one I awoke to this morning was excruciatingly embarrassing. I dreamed I was on a Murder Mystery cruise. Nothing wrong with that huh? Well, my roommate/partner/whatever you want to call him was a former student of mine who shall remain nameless. He got into an altercation at the bar because he didn't like the piece of cake he ordered, and he demanded his money be returned. His disapproving aunt was a friend of a friend of a friend who doesn't even know this guy. Why in the world did I dream of those two people? These are people with whom I have little to no personal contact. And why did I dream of them in a way that would make me blush if I were to tell the whole story? (I will not be telling the story. Once I told Ron Luloff about a dream I had of monkeys in different colors. He never looked at me the same way again.)
I had certain dreams as a kid that occurred so often, I remember them to this day. One of them was a pretty typical dream. I was able to fly, and I used to fly over the blacktopped playground of my elementary school. That's an easy one to understand; I longed to be free during the school day.
Another one I had all the time involved World War II. I lived in a hut on a tropical island. One day, soldiers invaded my hut. They didn't find me though because I had turned into an oval-shaped braided rug. They walked all over me, but I was safe from them and I could return to my natural state once they were gone. I had this dream a lot. Amateur psychologists? Have at it.
One dream I had during college involved my father. We were dressed as farmers with straw hats, overalls, and sh*t stoppin' boots. Our chickens were ready to hatch so we were taking them to the farmers' market to sell. Well, the truck broke down and the chickens hatched. Only they weren't chickens, they were baby ducks. As they ran all over the place, my dad was yelling at me. He blamed me for the mix-up with the eggs, and he was furious that I couldn't round up those bright yellow balls of fluff (yes, I dream in color). Are you amateur psychologists still on the job?
Far too many of my dreams leave me feeling anxious. While they aren't about something currently worrying me, I suspect the anxiety is from the worry I try to suppress. Do all adults have this kind of dream? Or are some of you having the sweet dreams we always wish for each other?
Please, if you dare, share your dreams. I'm curious. And I promise, I will not psychoanalyze you!
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Thoughts for a Quiet Saturday Evening
Sometimes when it's quiet and nothing much is on the TV, I fantasize about all kinds of things: what I'd do if I won a big lottery, things I'd change about my life if I got a Do-Over, places I want to visit, other jobs I might have done had I not taught. You get the picture, things you think about before drifting off to sleep.
Today I was thinking about things I wish would be invented.
Besides the obvious, such as a car that gets 75 mpg or a safer source of energy than nuclear power, I was thinking of little things that would be so enjoyable.
I wish there was a patch like the smoker's patch that one could wear to control appetite and/or the desire to eat for the sake of eating. I'd wear one even if the only effective place to put it was on my forehead.
I'd like to see shoes sold as singles. Lots of people have one foot bigger than the other. I have a terrible time finding comfortable shoes. My left foot is about a half size bigger than my right foot. If one foot is comfy, the other is sliding in the shoe. If my right foot fits well, my left shoe may pinch. I have lots of shoes, but only a few I like to wear.
I wish there was a formula or a polish that I could put on my nails that would really do what Sally Hansen falsely claims her products do. I wish I could paint on something to actually make my nails strong enough to grow past the fingertips. I can get my nails to do that, but they will soon catch or split or break. I won't use acrylics since the time I got a terrible infection. I want a product that does the job without poisoning the body. Surely a scientist could brew such a formula!
I wish there was an alarm clock that could hit its own snooze alarm. And then after a certain number of snoozes, could reach over and gently shake you awake. Oh, and yes, I'd want the ability to program my name and the voice waking me up. I'd be happier to get out of bed if Dennis Quaid was saying, "Get up Barbara darlin'."
That's all. Simple things to make life a bit better.
Because seriously, if someone could find solutions to the big problems in life, well, what would we complain about on Facebook?
Today I was thinking about things I wish would be invented.
Besides the obvious, such as a car that gets 75 mpg or a safer source of energy than nuclear power, I was thinking of little things that would be so enjoyable.
I wish there was a patch like the smoker's patch that one could wear to control appetite and/or the desire to eat for the sake of eating. I'd wear one even if the only effective place to put it was on my forehead.
I'd like to see shoes sold as singles. Lots of people have one foot bigger than the other. I have a terrible time finding comfortable shoes. My left foot is about a half size bigger than my right foot. If one foot is comfy, the other is sliding in the shoe. If my right foot fits well, my left shoe may pinch. I have lots of shoes, but only a few I like to wear.
I wish there was a formula or a polish that I could put on my nails that would really do what Sally Hansen falsely claims her products do. I wish I could paint on something to actually make my nails strong enough to grow past the fingertips. I can get my nails to do that, but they will soon catch or split or break. I won't use acrylics since the time I got a terrible infection. I want a product that does the job without poisoning the body. Surely a scientist could brew such a formula!
I wish there was an alarm clock that could hit its own snooze alarm. And then after a certain number of snoozes, could reach over and gently shake you awake. Oh, and yes, I'd want the ability to program my name and the voice waking me up. I'd be happier to get out of bed if Dennis Quaid was saying, "Get up Barbara darlin'."
That's all. Simple things to make life a bit better.
Because seriously, if someone could find solutions to the big problems in life, well, what would we complain about on Facebook?
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