I just returned from a week long trip down south with a busload of senior citizens. At fifty-nine, not all places consider me eligible for the Senior Discount, but for this trip I was one of the gang.
Day One didn't get off to a good start. The drive was long so I slept, woke for rest stops and restaurants, and slept; yep, just like the other fifty people on the bus. After lunch, one man decided we needed a Sunday sermon. He launched into a Bible reading, and then his interpretation. "..blah, blah.... the Jews rejected Jesus and were sent to Hell ..blah, blah." Well, that woke me up! "Did I just hear him say all Jews are going to Hell? " yelled I. "Is he kidding? This is totally inappropriate!!!" To say I was not very popular with much of the bus after that is an understatement. It took a while for us to warm up to each other, but the controversy was an icebreaker; and I do credit myself with helping the people on the bus get to know each other. Yep, they became very friendly talking about my heathen spirit behind my back. Sigh. (For the record, I do attend a Christian church. However, I am born of a Jewish mother, so I am a Jew. And, I do not believe God will send his chosen people to an eternity in Hell. Do not try to convince me otherwise.)
My antics the next day didn't do much to endear me to some of these folks either. We enjoyed a day of sightseeing, and when we got back to the hotel, my BFF, D, and I decided to sit by the pool and relax. Across the pool, were a bunch of grungy guys cooking pork chops on a grill. One character called out, "Hey girls. C'mon over. I'll make you a drink." Girls!! He called us girls! I was out of my chair in a nano-second. We had drinks with Honeybuns, Eddie, and Sausage Man. We laughed ourselves silly the whole time; oh, the stories these guys from Alabama could tell about their jobs in Georgia. Of course, our deeply religious travel companions were playing cards in the room off the pool. They kept looking out the door, peering out the windows, and shaking their heads. Oh well, D and I laughed ourselves silly and slept well that night.
The next morning, I was a minute late boarding the bus. (I thought I was 14 minutes early, but no....) Oh, the dirty looks I got! "What?" I exclaimed. "I'm a minute late. So shoot me." And that's when the tide turned. One of the oldest of the old said, "Honey, your watch is a minute fast. Mine says you're on time." And with that, the people laughed, the bus pulled out, and I started making friends.
The South was wonderful. Each day was a warm, balmy summer adventure. Among the sights were Savannah, St. Simon's Island, and Parris Island. We visited the Juliette Low house on this 100th anniversary of Girl Scouting. We drank mint juleps and margaritas; and if we didn't finish our drink there was always the "to-go" cup. I bought my nieces the best souvenirs...real dead and petrified alligator heads! Way cool. And we all started to Southern drawl a little as the trip progressed.
My last act of rebellion happened on the last night of the trip. They took us to a cramped hall where we joined two other buses of senior travelers for a party dinner. The food was terrible, and the entertainment was a resort-style singer who worked the crowd. "How long have you been married? Let's give a hand, folks, for fifty-eight years of wedded bliss." I felt trapped in the middle of a Saturday Night Live parody. At the chicken dance, I noticed another retired teacher rolling her eyes and she, D, and I ran away! We headed to the bar next to the banquet hall. After a refreshing escape, we were back on the bus.
Truthfully, I had a wonderful time. The people on our bus were, in general, happy and loving people. For once on a trip, my knees could keep up. I was a rock star! Will I take another trip with the old people? You betcha. They've got one going to the Biltmore in November. Grab that AARP card, and hop (or hobble) onto the bus! L'Chayim!
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