Cruisin'

I just returned from a cruise to the Bahamas.  Oh Bahama Mama, it was a warm and wonderful experience.  If you've never taken a cruise, this is the year you should do it.

For my friends who live in the Baltimore area, this port is a great one to navigate.  I worried about driving in and being overwhelmed by traffic and confusion.  Didn't happen.  Dee and I left on a Sunday and returned on a Sunday so there was no business traffic.  They will take your bags as you drive into the parking lot.  Hand them over with a smile and a small tip.  Parking must be paid as you pull into the lot; have cash so the process is faster (our cost was $105 for seven days).  It was a long  snaking line to get on the boat.  If someone in your group is handicapped or if you are bringing young children, register ahead of time and pay the small fee that allows for preferential boarding and disembarkment.  You'll be in a waiting lounge and processed quickly. If not, you may be standing in an hour long line getting to know your fellow cruisers. 

The Pride, a Carnival ship out of Baltimore, is a beauty.  The theme is Renaissance, so there are lots of thematic murals and decoratively carved moldings and statues.  Translated, there will be a lot of boobs in your face. It's art, folks.  Don't take your kids if such art offends you.  I often saw young men being photographed holding the breasts of the reclining nude who's painted on the wall near the Karaoke stage.  Laugh folks; it's funny, not crude.  Even your kids will laugh.  Learn the difference between the front and back of the ship.  Aft is the back, so think ass.  You will spend less time wandering aimlessly looking at the art. 

The Pride has one formal dining room.  Unless it is elegant night, the dress code seems to be anything goes.  I suggest 6:00 seating.  We were always quickly admitted; but the later diners waited for ages in a long line before being seated.  Have fun with your waitstaff.  Beatrice was the life of our party!  You can order whatever you want from the menu. On elegant night, two entrees were prime rib and lobster tail.  I couldn't choose, so I ordered both.  I wanted the lobster tail on the plate with the steak, but beware.  If you order both you will receive two complete dinners.  You can always eat at the buffet stations if you don't want to be restricted to a time.  I loved our dining companions!!!  Nancy and Carolyn were two ladies around my age and with whom I had an instant relaxed rapport.  Joyce and Patty were a mother/daughter team who looked like sisters. It's lots of fun talking to people other than those you'll be with 24/7.  The tip for the waitstaff is included in your cabin charges.  However, I tipped the waitress and her staff a bit extra the last night because they were especially attentive and lively.  The water girl was so shocked that I tipped her as well as her "boss," she hugged me three times.  The photographers will send a pirate around on the first night.  Smile pretty; my first pirate photo is still one of my favorites.

Pictures!!!  Photographers are everywhere.  Play fashion model and pose for all of them.  It's a fun way to spend some of those leisure hours.  You don't have to buy pictures if you don't want them.  Be careful, though, if you are one of the beautiful people.  You will want every photo you see, and they are expensive starting at $12 for the 4"x6".  Don't even think about stealing them as the pictures have  sensors that set off a shrieking alarm if you try to leave the area.  Buy them when you see them because pictures are rearranged every day and it can be a pain trying to locate the older ones.  No, they do not go on sail (ha ha get it? sail? not sale)  at the end of the trip, they go into the trash. 

Excursions are always optional and very expensive when ordered through the cruise lines.  Research your excursions before signing up.  Cruisecritic.com will offer you a lot of advice from experienced travelers. My personal advice follows.  If you want a tour of the island, go with one of the tour guides waiting for you as you leave the ship.  We met Rodney who was hawking his tours right in front of the Bahamian police, so we weren't worried about being pirated off to white slavery.  His tour of Nassau was personal in the way only a local can provide.  And it was much less than the same tour offered by the cruise line.  Rodney charged $20 for the same trip the cruise line offered for $60.  Bargain at the straw markets.  They may never go as low as you want, but the first price they ask is at least twice as much as they'll take. Some of these people are extremely aggressive, so I prefer to do business with the quieter sellers.  Beware of made in China jewelry that they'll pass off as Bahamian crafts.  You'll recognize it as the same stuff appears in all the booths and at your local WalMart. Looking at jewelry in an upscale store?  Ask if what they are offering you is their "best price," and you may get a discount.  You may also get cheated, so only buy that diamond or emerald if you really love it.  And don't be surprised if you have it appraised at home and it's worth no where near what you paid.  You've been warned.

On this trip, I took advantage of the Spa.  Do not book in advance of your cruise.  Once you get on board there will be specials and discounted services offered.  I had the first full-body massage of my life.  Thought I'd hate it and feel embarrassed.  I LOVED IT!!!!  Sooooo relaxing!  That massage packaged with a facial, foot massage, scalp massage, and eye treatment was $150 on special offer. Dee had acupuncture treatments.  They relieved her pain so much that I will be scheduling treatments here in town because of her cruise experience.  There's a gym to visit to work off some of those extra calories. Ha Ha Ha  It's somewhere near the Spa, I think. 

I've never been seasick, and I can't advise about that.  Many people wore the patches, so I guess they help.  Only one night was treacherous.  We were bounced left and right trying to walk throughout the ship.  It was hysterically funny as strangers groped each other to stay upright.  That night we ordered our final cocktails through room service.  Better to let the staff navigate the halls with the drinks than me with the equilibrium issues!

The casino is the only common area on the ship where people are allowed to smoke. There's a lot of  nervous smoking because people are doing a lot of losing.  One woman  could have booked three cruises for what she told me she lost that week. Hint: You can't possibly win at the slots.  Or at the money cube games or the tables or the quarter tosses.  If somebody does grab a one hundred dollar packet out of the money pit, they probably spent a few hundred to get it.


Cruises are wonderful vacations.  You are treated royally.  No dishes to do, no beds to make, no meals to cook, no chores to complete.  The staff is there for one reason, and that is to make you happy.  When else does that happen?  Take a break from your life and go cruisin'. You won't regret it.