Today was the date for my monthly lunch with two dear friends, Dot and Pat. When I heard a knock on my door, I answered in my pj's; and in the words of the pop culture princess Britney Spears, I realized that "Ooops, I did it again." I had screwed up. There they were, dressed and ready to go. Here I was, unwashed and in my ratty nightgown. I had completely forgotten. We do this every month, usually the same time of the month, and I had completely forgotten.
I have to ask, do other people do this or is there something wrong with me?
I can barely begin to tell you the things I have forgotten. There have been the doctor appointments I've shown up for either the day before (if I'm lucky) or the day after (if I'm not). The latest was a follow-up in September that I didn't realize I'd missed until October. My dentist's secretary has called me more than once to ask where I am. (I can sort of understand "forgetting" the dentist. I hate to go.) I have been smacked with late fees because I forgot to pay the bills. I have been reminded of things I've said during a conversation that I can't even remember having. (That's why I don't lie; I can't remember the stuff I have said. Who could remember a lie?) I've bought the same shirt twice, the same necklace twice, etc. etc. etc. I found a dress in my closet a while ago. It still had the tags, was in a bag, and the receipt showed I'd bought it three years ago and had completely forgotten about it! I could probably ramble on, but I have forgotten a lot of things I forgot to do.
I used to have an excuse when I worked. As a teacher, I only survived by multi-tasking. Sometimes I became overwhelmed, so it was natural to forget a meeting or two. But, I don't work anymore. I'm supposedly enjoying a leisurely retirement. So, what's my excuse now?
I once read an article that said when people forget meetings, appointments, dates and such it is because they subconsciously think they are superior to others. Others aren't worthy of their attention. Oh man, I hope that isn't me. None of this makes me feel better than others. I feel stupid and embarrassed.
These aren't signs of advancing senility...I hope! I hope! I hope! I can remember doing things like this when I was younger. As a teenager, I was the neighborhood babysitter. I can't tell you how many times I scrambled to find someone to help me out because I'd double booked a Saturday night. I lost one of my best paying jobs when, in true desperation, I sent my brother to babysit a family's son. No, they weren't angry about the mix-up. The kid just happened to love my brother. Recently, I RSVPed affirmatively to a wedding and a birthday party on the same date but in different states. Luckily, I was able to cancel on the wedding (the second of the two invitations) before they had to pay for my place serving at the reception.
When people got frustrated with my behavior, I used to warn them that they'd be really sorry when my brain tumor was disagnosed. Ha ha then. Not so funny now.
Do other people have this much trouble organizing their lives? Do other people remember things without writing them down in two places? And if they do write them in two places, do other people remember to actually look at each place?
Sigh. I'm sad I missed lunch. I really enjoy spending time with those special ladies. I hope they had a Zinfandel for me. Or two.
Until I found a system that worked for me, I regularly forgot items. Not only writing it down, but it had to be in a place that I was guaranteed to check. For me, an electronic digital assistant was the solution. This was after years of carrying calendars, having the wall calendar, trying to synchronize them manually, recording things in the same place, etc., etc. Today, I use Microsoft Outlook Calendar to track EVERYTHING, and I synchronize it with the calendar in my phone. If it's not on my calendar, it ain't happening. Secondly, I have learned to look over the week's activities at least once on the weekend, and then each evening double checking the next day's activities. It took a long time to develop these habits. I am not immune from things being dropped or overlooked, but I have long since learned that I cannot "just remember" everything. Even the stuff that happens regularly. I feel your pain!! Trial and error lead me to the solution that works for me.
ReplyDeleteBarb, we all do it. I heard on the radio once, that you didn't forget that appointment, you didn't remember it in the first place. At some point in our lives (usually when we start missing appointments) we realize that we can't store all of this info in our brains and we don't "save" the info. We begin to use and depend on calendars, appt books, computer reminders or friends. I use them all and still sometimes forget. I am much better since my kids are grown and now have to remember their own stuff. I just have too many things to remember, too many commitments. But then the other side is when you have less to do, you get in the mindset that since you now have less to remember you won't have to write it down. I'm sure you thought "of course I will remember that lunch date". You do this every month. NOT! So Barb, you are not alone. Just accept that you are human after all! Love ya. Jackie
ReplyDeleteGee Jackie, that makes a lot of sense. We've been doing lunch for years. I guess I never thought I could possibly forget one.
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