Things I Miss

Today was chilly and dreary.  I don't like this kind of weather.  Grey skies have depressed me for many years.  I can remember Labor Days when the weather was ugly, and I was desperate for that last burst of sunny freedom before school started.  I felt so cheated!  I love a cold, crisp, snowy winter day, as long as the sun is shining through the clouds.  When the snow turns to snain, and the world is a dirty black and white photograph, I feel morose.  So, on this first real taste of the approaching winter,  it's only natural that today has been a day to muse about what I miss.

Let's get the obvious out of the way.  I miss my parents, pets, and friends who have gone on to the next world. Every now and then I catch myself heading to the phone to call my mother.  She passed in 2007. I believe I will see them again.  But, in the meantime, I sure wouldn't mind getting a message or two from that Long Island Medium lady.

I miss acting in local theatrical productions.  I can't commit to the rehearsal schedule because of other things I have to do.  While watching the new movie version of Steel Magnolias, I was reminded of the year I played Ouiser at Cecil Community College.  My director, Al Herlinger, was the best I'd ever worked with.  I learned so much, loved all the people involved, and burst with pride at every performance.  I miss that feeling of belonging to an elite group of theatre people. I miss the creativity.  I miss the excuse to be manic, and have all hissy fits forgiven by other sensitive dramatic types.

I miss bouncing up and down steps.  I used to climb to the top of the observation tower at Valley Forge Park.  I danced down the stairs of the Capitol in Washington DC.  Now, I hold tight to the railing. I carefully take each step one at a time and irritate the hell out of the people behind me.  Just you wait, you young whippersnappers! Eventually, time will find you and kick you in the knees.

I miss being able to PAR-TAY!  I was once a party animal. The fun didn't start until I got there.  I'd dance and drink all night, or at least until the bars closed at 2:00.  I remember a party where I was kissed (quite passionately) by my college English professor. Yes, I kissed him back.  My dorm mates had blackmail material for months after that.  I remember a party where I fell asleep in a field after drinking boiler makers and smoking some funny stuff.  I was kicked out of the room I was renting after that one.  I remember a party at Millersville that had a row of us mooning another row of partiers across the lake. Once I was at a dance hall in Fallston where I had to dodge a fight and flying bar stools.  Some guy complimented my quick reaction; I told him I'd had practice as a middle school teacher.  Parties at Glen Rock were the best!  The faculty even gave me an award for my keen partying abilities (men's briefs with lots of ribbons and bows).  Such good times!! Key up Archie and Edith Bunker singing Those were the days....   Now when I go out to Happy Hour, I call it Happy Half Hour, and I'm usually in my pajamas by 8.

I miss dating.  It was so exciting to go out.  I could buy new clothes, new makeup, new perfume.  There were a lot of bad dates (subject for a later blog), but there were fabulous dates, and always the optimism and hope that this guy would be the one.  I do not date anymore. There aren't too many men my age interested in dating women their own age.  But lets face the real truth: the best single guys, the most fun single guys... well, those guys are gay.

I could go on (and maybe some day I will), but you get the picture. I miss my youth and the fun that went with it.  Until dementia hits, at least I have my memories.