Craigslist

The first time I heard about anyone actually using Craigslist was when my friend Nancy moved and sold some furniture.  I was feeling kind of bored tonight, so I decided to peruse the ads.  Turns out, Craigslist is much more than a furniture store.

I checked out the personal ads.  Deciding to play it safe, I went to "platonic only."  There is a whole other world and a language I don't understand going on out there.  And I'll bet a lot of you readers are unaware of that world.  So, for your entertainment, let me share a few of the goodies I found.

ws/gs - m4w

familiar with ws/gs? It's been a while since I've 'been watered'. Wanting to find someone interested in exploring .
me: wm, professional, 54, 5'10", 180.

I have absolutely no idea what this means.  I'm guessing it is something sexual. But since it was in the platonic section, maybe it is just about gardening.

open minded - w4m - 24 (maryland)

Hello I am a 24 year old female in search of a male either White or Spanish, between the ages of 20 - 30, I am not looking for any weirdos ( i know thats asking for a lot on here), no married men, and most of all DD free. Its actually a story behind what Im looking for and some might think this is a little odd request but if you are an opened minded guy and wanna find out ......respond

Now we're getting somewhere.  Sorta.  But, what is DD?  Darling Daughter? Dungeons and Dragons? Dippity Do? Whatever it is, you must not be a weirdo and not have DD in order to answer this weirdo's ad.  And then, all you'll get is a story.  Seems to me this ad writer would do better by blogging.

Need a Pharmacists - 32 (Baltimore )

Im looking for a Pharmacists Who is currently employed Please reply if so Its an emergency

OK, here's one I get.  This must be code for a drug dealer.  But why must said dealer be employed?  And employed at what? Why would it matter if your drug dealer worked at Mickey D's?  He is employed - he's a drug dealer.  What more do you want?

just looking for someone to talk to... - w4m - 24 (baltimore)

Just looking for someone to talk to on this holiday weekend while my husband and I are going through some things...

LOL  Now, this person has the right idea!  Shrinks are around $100/hour.  So, this Craigslister will probably get excellent advice from someone who has a degree in Dr. Phil or Maury.  Or heck, maybe this one is sexual too.

 

board come to my place in pa - m4w - 45 (red lion )

 want a female to come over give me some company hang out to fall off to do something else too . I'll even make dinner for you . send me your picture please be serious

 

Ah, this one seems nice.  Obviously, the guy doesn't want to spend the evening reading because his spelling and sentence structure indicate he's never read a book in his life.  I'm not sure why he wants someone to "fall off" unless he's referring to falling off that erect penis he included in a picture with the ad. Yea right, he's going to make someone dinner.  More likely, he'll chain them to the metal cot in the soundproof room hidden in his basement.  And then he'll turn them into dinner!  Ugh.

 

 

I have come to the conclusion that if these are the "platonic" ads, I'm afraid to go anywhere near the boy-meets-girl ads.  To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure I want to sell furniture on Craigslist.  For all I know, advertising a rocking chair might be code for something that could get me arrested.