First of all, "smh" is Facebook-ese for shaking my head. And if you spend as much time as I do on social media, you probably want to respond with "smh" far more often than the easily clicked on "like." I often end a FB session by swearing to myself that I need a break from the craziness. But the next day, or maybe within the next hour, I'm back on the Book. I can't help it; I just can't. So smh, here I am to talk about recent stories that make me crazy.
Alex Trebeck: Poor Alex. In the kids' Jeopardy competition, one young lady was eliminated from the final round. The look on her face clearly displayed her sense of shock when Alex waved bye-bye because one can't continue to a final round with a negative balance. Those are the rules of the game. The rules are explained to the contestants before the game. I'm sure the children and their parents signed a folder full of papers explaining and re-explaining the rules. But this kid was "traumatized" and her parents were pissed. They demanded the station refilm the ending in a kinder, gentler way with their precious child. Alex balked, as well he should have. The ending was not refilmed. However, Alex was so disturbed that he wanted to quit Jeopardy. Quit over one helicopter parent? One? Oh Alex, welcome to my world, the world of the public school teacher. What teacher hasn't had his/her job threatened by a parent whose child did not earn an "A"? If we walked out of the classroom every time we were attacked by an upset parent, there'd be a real crisis in education. No teachers.
School Takes Away Blind Boy's Cane : First of all, certified professional educators did NOT bully the kid and take away his cane. A bus driver took the cane because the boy was throwing it around as he was listening to music. It was dangerous. Why the driver gave him a pool noodle makes me smh, but my guess is that he wanted the kid to have something safe to use to tap along to the music. (Can someone tell me why he had a pool noodle on the bus?) Anyhow, after the bus driver was reprimanded, after school officials immediately returned the cane when they were notified of the situation, the mother decided she needed to inform the news media. Why? So this would never happen again? Or, so they could garner attention, public sympathy, and maybe even a few financial donations. People love to donate money when they see a story on FB that screams the world is unfair. Who knows? I just had to smh over this story.
A Joke Gone Wrong : One of my FB friends posted a story on her page, something about scientific proof that men's intelligence is inferior to women's. It was a joke. A joke. One person wrote a scathingly nasty comment to her about keeping "her hate" off his page. He wrote it to humiliate her and I guess prove his superior intelligence. I just had to smh. First of all, she didn't put anything on his page. The joke was on her feed. If he doesn't want it on his page, he has to remove it. It's so simple, just click on the upper right hand corner and poof the offending post is gone. No need to embarrass her. I just smh, because I'd already met that idiot on a comment thread where he told me to get off my high horse. I wanted to tell him I was riding a donkey and he could kiss my ass, but I simply responded that I liked my horse and wasn't getting off. But seriously, he wants me off my high horse, yet he is entitled to ride his? Are you shaking your head yet?
Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays : These memes give me gas. Seriously, I have asked and have yet to receive an answer. WHO is waging war on Christians by denying them the right to say Merry Christmas? Who? I want names. Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Hanukkah! I hear them all this time of the year. Soon there will be Kwanzaa greetings being shared. I've seen Christmas trees, menorahs, and manger scenes in all kinds of secular buildings. Why make a mountain out of a molehill? What is gained by feeling attacked as a Christian because the Walmart cashier wished you a happy holiday? Whatever happened to returning the smile and the greeting. Christians are not being persecuted because store workers want to be inclusive of all the holidays celebrated in December. How ridiculous. So I shake my head and tell myself that next year I'm going to send Season's Greetings cards to these people and sign them Happy Holidays! Love, Jesus. No I'm not....but I thought about it while smh.
So there you have it. I smh at all of the nonsense, but I keep going back for more and more. We can all benefit from the wisdom of the immortal Taylor Swift, so I leave you with these words:
I gotta shake, shake, shake shake, shake it off
Shake, shake, shake shake, shake it off
Shake, shake, shake shake, shake it off
Shake, shake, shake shake, shake it off
Friday, December 19, 2014
Friday, November 14, 2014
Holiday Shopping
It was only a few days after Halloween that I began to notice the proliferation of commercials devoted to shopping for Christmas presents. Here we go again, I thought, celebrating Christmas at the mall. Equating holiday festivities with the mall. Making the mall displays the new-age manger scenes. The mall...with the focus on expensive flashy gifts.
After what I saw today, I'm writing to suggest you expand your priorities this holiday season.
My church had a food and winter clothing give away. I arrived a little late and was stunned by the sight that greeted me. We had tables and tables of clothing and food. We also had almost ninety people surrounding those tables trying on clothes and filling small bags with canned goods. Unfortunately, we couldn't provide coats for everybody who needed one. While we had food, we had an over abundance of corn and carrots, and a real shortage of meat products. We had no toiletries.
Yet, the people we helped were thankful and appreciative. It was heartwarming to see the joy on an old woman's toothless face as she snuggled into the warm coat that fit her like a glove. I brought miscellaneous scarves and socks that I threw together as an extra donation. They were gone within minutes of being displayed. People thanked us profusely for providing these treasures for them. One woman said to me that I'll never know what a difference this help makes in her life.
So readers, I am asking you to do a different kind of shopping this season. Shop through your closets for those coats you no longer wear, the extra hats, scarves, boots, and gloves that get shoved in the back of the closet and are rarely worn. When you're checking the local paper and websites for entertainment activities, look for the appeals for donations. Many schools run coat drives. Many churches distribute clothing and food to the needy. Help them! Donate! Be generous.
If you live in the Havre de Grace area, St. John's Episcopal Church (PO Box 306, 114 N. Union Ave. in HdG) needs your help. Every Friday from 10-12 we open our food pantry. Because of the dedicated work of coordinator Nadine Anderson, the church is now receiving donations from the Maryland Food Bank. They have provided a great variety of canned goods, but the Pantry could use some supplemental help. There are items always needed but not often thought of when people donate food. Food pantries need the following: canned meats (tuna, chicken, salmon, and Spam, Maryland people love their Spam), dried/ shelf-stable milk, dried fruits (raisins, apricots, pineapple), canned spaghetti products, cereal, cookies, soups, stews, crackers, baby food, pet food, coffee, tea, and juices. Diapers are always needed. Toiletries are especially longed for. The people served by the church would really appreciate toilet paper, feminine products, soap, shampoo, deodorant, laundry detergent, baby wipes, and the like. Call the church at 410-939-2107 if you would like to help this mission. Your donations will be appreciated by many. Clean the clothing before you donate it. Dirty coats and clothes help no one. Make sure the dates for the canned goods you donate have not expired. Food pantries will toss expired food rather than chance making people ill.
This season be alert to the pleas from local organizations for coats, clothing, and food. Those requests are everywhere. Don't sit back and figure somebody else will donate. Be that somebody! This holiday season can be so much more than a trip to the mall.
After what I saw today, I'm writing to suggest you expand your priorities this holiday season.
My church had a food and winter clothing give away. I arrived a little late and was stunned by the sight that greeted me. We had tables and tables of clothing and food. We also had almost ninety people surrounding those tables trying on clothes and filling small bags with canned goods. Unfortunately, we couldn't provide coats for everybody who needed one. While we had food, we had an over abundance of corn and carrots, and a real shortage of meat products. We had no toiletries.
Yet, the people we helped were thankful and appreciative. It was heartwarming to see the joy on an old woman's toothless face as she snuggled into the warm coat that fit her like a glove. I brought miscellaneous scarves and socks that I threw together as an extra donation. They were gone within minutes of being displayed. People thanked us profusely for providing these treasures for them. One woman said to me that I'll never know what a difference this help makes in her life.
So readers, I am asking you to do a different kind of shopping this season. Shop through your closets for those coats you no longer wear, the extra hats, scarves, boots, and gloves that get shoved in the back of the closet and are rarely worn. When you're checking the local paper and websites for entertainment activities, look for the appeals for donations. Many schools run coat drives. Many churches distribute clothing and food to the needy. Help them! Donate! Be generous.
If you live in the Havre de Grace area, St. John's Episcopal Church (PO Box 306, 114 N. Union Ave. in HdG) needs your help. Every Friday from 10-12 we open our food pantry. Because of the dedicated work of coordinator Nadine Anderson, the church is now receiving donations from the Maryland Food Bank. They have provided a great variety of canned goods, but the Pantry could use some supplemental help. There are items always needed but not often thought of when people donate food. Food pantries need the following: canned meats (tuna, chicken, salmon, and Spam, Maryland people love their Spam), dried/ shelf-stable milk, dried fruits (raisins, apricots, pineapple), canned spaghetti products, cereal, cookies, soups, stews, crackers, baby food, pet food, coffee, tea, and juices. Diapers are always needed. Toiletries are especially longed for. The people served by the church would really appreciate toilet paper, feminine products, soap, shampoo, deodorant, laundry detergent, baby wipes, and the like. Call the church at 410-939-2107 if you would like to help this mission. Your donations will be appreciated by many. Clean the clothing before you donate it. Dirty coats and clothes help no one. Make sure the dates for the canned goods you donate have not expired. Food pantries will toss expired food rather than chance making people ill.
This season be alert to the pleas from local organizations for coats, clothing, and food. Those requests are everywhere. Don't sit back and figure somebody else will donate. Be that somebody! This holiday season can be so much more than a trip to the mall.
Monday, November 3, 2014
A-muse-in' about Cruisin' - a compare/contrast essay
I used to comment after a Carnival Cruise that I'd been on the WalMart of cruises. Today I returned from a seven day sail on the Norwegian Sun. What can I say? If Carnival is WalMart, then Norwegian must be the Dollar Tree.
Norwegian seems really excited about its freestyle eating plan. Guests can eat at the main dining room anytime they wish, no assigned dining times. That's nice, but Norwegian doesn't seem very excited about enticing guests to eat there. The food was fine, but nothing special. I was waiting for something like the prime rib and lobster night that Carnival offers, but there was nothing comparable on the Sun. Lots of chicken and pasta...the cheapest dishes to offer. When the chef's specialty of the night is lasagna, that's not so special. My theory is that Norwegian wants you to dine at one of their specialty restaurants where they charge anywhere between $15 to $40 per person for a good meal. Since the main dining rooms were often rather empty, this marketing technique seems to be working for them; but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Carnival's evening meals were delicious, the staff knew us by name, and they even danced for us.
One expects to be pampered on a cruise. Our room steward was a nice guy, when we saw him. However, I had to call every day about something. I'm not a complainer, but when there are two people in a room it helps to have a bath towel for each person. And every single day I had to call and remind them of that fact. Sometimes we got ice, most times we did not. More than twice I had to wash with shampoo because he couldn't remember to refill the bath soap container. A few times I had to stick his cleaning rags in the hall. I like to think he left them there so we'd be sure to recognize that he actually cleaned the room.
I like to gamble. I hated Norwegian's policy. My preference is to charge to my shipboard account as I go along, and I could easily do that on Carnival. Then, when I had my big wins, I could gamble on their money and stop using mine. Norwegian won't provide that service. They will be happy to let you put $100 at a time on their nifty gambling card for a nifty little service charge. You have to spend it all though, there are no refunds. Since they have the tightest machines on earth spending that amount wouldn't be hard to do, but it didn't take me $100 worth to realize they were giving me nothing. Nothing at all. I found myself explaining the machines to many novice gamblers..after they'd lost their $10 in as many seconds and were completely befuddled as to what happened. When one woman cheered the $9 win it took me $20 to get, I shook my head in disbelief. Oh these poor people... Norwegian was set to make a bundle off them.
Their pillow mint policy left me speechless. After two days of no pillow mints, I called to see what was happening. Was the ship out of mints? No. You only get pillow mints when you become a gold member. That happens on your third cruise. No pillow mints until your third cruise??? Carnival stewards actually turned down the bed and delivered the mints, sometimes four, yes four, at a time because I liked them! I told the nice Norwegian girl that the promise of pillow mints would not be enough to entice me to take two more cruises. I don't know how many times you have to cruise with Norwegian to get a bathrobe, but Carnival provides them them for virgin cruisers as well as the long-timers.
Anybody who has cruised is familiar with the towel animals that greet you each evening with your pillow mints. The Carnival animals were the kind you wanted to photograph because they were so clever. Sometimes Marie and I got a towel animal and sometimes we didn't. We were luckier than our friends Mirah and Sara, they never got animals. One night, Marie and I couldn't figure out what our animal was. We thought maybe a turtle or a butterfly; it was hard to tell. So, Marie flipped the animal over while trying to figure it out, and the towel cylinder in the middle popped up like a towel animal on viagra. We decided to treat Mirah and Sara by sharing our towel animal with them, and yes, we delivered it upside down.
The entertainment on the Sun pales in comparison to the shows I've seen on Carnival. In fact, we actually had more fun looking at the picture wall and the horrible photographs. Where do I begin? Pictures were uncentered, backgrounds were cluttered with other people or their feet and arms, eyes were closed, backgrounds wrinkled; these pictures wouldn't pass Photography 101. The poses were hysterical. I actually wanted to buy one lady's picture. She was running away from the porpoise with a look on her face promising that once she found a harpoon, that fish was going to be a sandwich. Another woman made Mirah laugh every night with her latest Top Model sexy pose. One night she dramatically posed herself by sprawling out on the staircase and looking up at the photographer with Playboy eyes, french-kiss mouth, and propped up boobies. Another time she posed sideways with her Playboy eyes, french-kiss mouth, and back bending popped out boobies. We looked for her on the ship and found her wearing a Steelers shirt. That explained a lot. My favorite,though, was the mother and daughter team. Daughter was in her sixties and looked every day of it. Mom must have been in her eighties. They were biiiig girls wearing the same exact dress. Their picture had Mom inside an empty frame, daughter holding the frame, and the two of them looking dreamily into each other's eyes. I had to slap my hand over my mouth to keep from howling at that one. Next time you cruise, don't look only for your pictures, enjoy the classics. Carnival lets you discard pictures you don't want. Norwegian doesn't. Maybe they're hoping that people like me will buy the funny ones. I thought about it, porpoise lady!
Don't let me discourage you from cruising. I had a wonderful vacation! Just don't let the little things like an ebola quarantine, people falling overboard, engine fires and a three day power outage with non-flushing toilets, or a capsized ship keep you from booking a Carnival cruise. It's all about the pillow mints, and Carnival will give you as many as you want.
Norwegian seems really excited about its freestyle eating plan. Guests can eat at the main dining room anytime they wish, no assigned dining times. That's nice, but Norwegian doesn't seem very excited about enticing guests to eat there. The food was fine, but nothing special. I was waiting for something like the prime rib and lobster night that Carnival offers, but there was nothing comparable on the Sun. Lots of chicken and pasta...the cheapest dishes to offer. When the chef's specialty of the night is lasagna, that's not so special. My theory is that Norwegian wants you to dine at one of their specialty restaurants where they charge anywhere between $15 to $40 per person for a good meal. Since the main dining rooms were often rather empty, this marketing technique seems to be working for them; but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Carnival's evening meals were delicious, the staff knew us by name, and they even danced for us.
One expects to be pampered on a cruise. Our room steward was a nice guy, when we saw him. However, I had to call every day about something. I'm not a complainer, but when there are two people in a room it helps to have a bath towel for each person. And every single day I had to call and remind them of that fact. Sometimes we got ice, most times we did not. More than twice I had to wash with shampoo because he couldn't remember to refill the bath soap container. A few times I had to stick his cleaning rags in the hall. I like to think he left them there so we'd be sure to recognize that he actually cleaned the room.
I like to gamble. I hated Norwegian's policy. My preference is to charge to my shipboard account as I go along, and I could easily do that on Carnival. Then, when I had my big wins, I could gamble on their money and stop using mine. Norwegian won't provide that service. They will be happy to let you put $100 at a time on their nifty gambling card for a nifty little service charge. You have to spend it all though, there are no refunds. Since they have the tightest machines on earth spending that amount wouldn't be hard to do, but it didn't take me $100 worth to realize they were giving me nothing. Nothing at all. I found myself explaining the machines to many novice gamblers..after they'd lost their $10 in as many seconds and were completely befuddled as to what happened. When one woman cheered the $9 win it took me $20 to get, I shook my head in disbelief. Oh these poor people... Norwegian was set to make a bundle off them.
Their pillow mint policy left me speechless. After two days of no pillow mints, I called to see what was happening. Was the ship out of mints? No. You only get pillow mints when you become a gold member. That happens on your third cruise. No pillow mints until your third cruise??? Carnival stewards actually turned down the bed and delivered the mints, sometimes four, yes four, at a time because I liked them! I told the nice Norwegian girl that the promise of pillow mints would not be enough to entice me to take two more cruises. I don't know how many times you have to cruise with Norwegian to get a bathrobe, but Carnival provides them them for virgin cruisers as well as the long-timers.
Anybody who has cruised is familiar with the towel animals that greet you each evening with your pillow mints. The Carnival animals were the kind you wanted to photograph because they were so clever. Sometimes Marie and I got a towel animal and sometimes we didn't. We were luckier than our friends Mirah and Sara, they never got animals. One night, Marie and I couldn't figure out what our animal was. We thought maybe a turtle or a butterfly; it was hard to tell. So, Marie flipped the animal over while trying to figure it out, and the towel cylinder in the middle popped up like a towel animal on viagra. We decided to treat Mirah and Sara by sharing our towel animal with them, and yes, we delivered it upside down.
The entertainment on the Sun pales in comparison to the shows I've seen on Carnival. In fact, we actually had more fun looking at the picture wall and the horrible photographs. Where do I begin? Pictures were uncentered, backgrounds were cluttered with other people or their feet and arms, eyes were closed, backgrounds wrinkled; these pictures wouldn't pass Photography 101. The poses were hysterical. I actually wanted to buy one lady's picture. She was running away from the porpoise with a look on her face promising that once she found a harpoon, that fish was going to be a sandwich. Another woman made Mirah laugh every night with her latest Top Model sexy pose. One night she dramatically posed herself by sprawling out on the staircase and looking up at the photographer with Playboy eyes, french-kiss mouth, and propped up boobies. Another time she posed sideways with her Playboy eyes, french-kiss mouth, and back bending popped out boobies. We looked for her on the ship and found her wearing a Steelers shirt. That explained a lot. My favorite,though, was the mother and daughter team. Daughter was in her sixties and looked every day of it. Mom must have been in her eighties. They were biiiig girls wearing the same exact dress. Their picture had Mom inside an empty frame, daughter holding the frame, and the two of them looking dreamily into each other's eyes. I had to slap my hand over my mouth to keep from howling at that one. Next time you cruise, don't look only for your pictures, enjoy the classics. Carnival lets you discard pictures you don't want. Norwegian doesn't. Maybe they're hoping that people like me will buy the funny ones. I thought about it, porpoise lady!
Don't let me discourage you from cruising. I had a wonderful vacation! Just don't let the little things like an ebola quarantine, people falling overboard, engine fires and a three day power outage with non-flushing toilets, or a capsized ship keep you from booking a Carnival cruise. It's all about the pillow mints, and Carnival will give you as many as you want.
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Catfish
I just watched another Dr. Phil show about an older woman catfished out of her life savings by an African con artist. I think Phil's done three shows on this topic. I sit here shaking my head and wondering how these women can be so fricking stupid. And then I remember that one of the men in my past was a con of a similar kind. Yes, even I was once conned by a romance crook.
It happened about twenty-five years ago when I was participating in the singles scene through a newspaper and dance venue called The Little Black Book. The dances were a lot of fun, I must admit. However, I didn't meet this guy in person. He called me after he saw my picture in the paper, and he thought I was cute. We met and started dating. I ignored so many red flags that had I been a bullfighter I'd have been torn to shreds. We didn't date for long, and I didn't lose much money to him, but I may have continued to ignore those red flags if he hadn't committed a fatal mistake by making a pass at my friend Cheryl. She didn't want to tell me, but I'm so glad she did because he and I were DONE at that moment. Unlike these women on TV who were presented with tons of evidence of fraud and then continued to defend the guy, I needed no more. Getting out of his grip was tricky, but he wasn't dangerous, and he quickly moved on to his next patsy. I wonder if he watched today's show from a jail cell? I sure hope so.
There's lonely. And there's stupid. I've been both. But these women on TV are probably also mentally ill. Perhaps "love sick" should be a certifiable and treatable mental illness for the geriatric set. Old people get foolishly stubborn. (I should know; trying to talk me out of one of my political opinions is futile.) But how can one get so old that wisdom doesn't come with age? Shouldn't this woman have seen enough of life to know better? And why is she so lonely? She has children and grandchildren. She has family. Right?
Wrong. Seems like she's been hugging that computer instead of the family tree.
We are so caught up in the busyness of our daily lives. I live only an hour and a half from my nieces, yet maybe I see them once a month? And even then, only between their sleepovers with their friends. That's not much of a family life for me. In fact, it helps to have Facebook to see what's happening in their lives. Don't misread me because I am not complaining. (I get awfully cranky when I'm around anybody too much.) But those golden olden days, days when a social life meant being with the family, have gone the way of rotary phones and party lines. I'm guessing Norma, the seventy year old from today's show, misses them and went looking for love in all the wrong places.
Keep an eye on the old people in your lives. Talk to them frequently. Bring the grandkids around to visit. Invite them to dinner. And the moment Grandma mentions the new boyfriend, invite him to dinner too. If anyone asks what's on the menu, tell them fried catfish.
It happened about twenty-five years ago when I was participating in the singles scene through a newspaper and dance venue called The Little Black Book. The dances were a lot of fun, I must admit. However, I didn't meet this guy in person. He called me after he saw my picture in the paper, and he thought I was cute. We met and started dating. I ignored so many red flags that had I been a bullfighter I'd have been torn to shreds. We didn't date for long, and I didn't lose much money to him, but I may have continued to ignore those red flags if he hadn't committed a fatal mistake by making a pass at my friend Cheryl. She didn't want to tell me, but I'm so glad she did because he and I were DONE at that moment. Unlike these women on TV who were presented with tons of evidence of fraud and then continued to defend the guy, I needed no more. Getting out of his grip was tricky, but he wasn't dangerous, and he quickly moved on to his next patsy. I wonder if he watched today's show from a jail cell? I sure hope so.
There's lonely. And there's stupid. I've been both. But these women on TV are probably also mentally ill. Perhaps "love sick" should be a certifiable and treatable mental illness for the geriatric set. Old people get foolishly stubborn. (I should know; trying to talk me out of one of my political opinions is futile.) But how can one get so old that wisdom doesn't come with age? Shouldn't this woman have seen enough of life to know better? And why is she so lonely? She has children and grandchildren. She has family. Right?
Wrong. Seems like she's been hugging that computer instead of the family tree.
We are so caught up in the busyness of our daily lives. I live only an hour and a half from my nieces, yet maybe I see them once a month? And even then, only between their sleepovers with their friends. That's not much of a family life for me. In fact, it helps to have Facebook to see what's happening in their lives. Don't misread me because I am not complaining. (I get awfully cranky when I'm around anybody too much.) But those golden olden days, days when a social life meant being with the family, have gone the way of rotary phones and party lines. I'm guessing Norma, the seventy year old from today's show, misses them and went looking for love in all the wrong places.
Keep an eye on the old people in your lives. Talk to them frequently. Bring the grandkids around to visit. Invite them to dinner. And the moment Grandma mentions the new boyfriend, invite him to dinner too. If anyone asks what's on the menu, tell them fried catfish.
Monday, September 22, 2014
So, what do you do all day?
I just completed year seven of my retirement. I had hoped by now that I would no longer be asked the question, So what do you do all day? I seem to be running out of answers.
My pat answer when people ask about retired life has always required a big grin and a reply like this, "Great! I can do whatever I want when I want." However, the truth of the matter is that I have been retired for seven years now and I am running out of ideas for what I want when I want. Ideas that don't involve a lot of money, that is.
I have spent many hours reading. A good book can keep me tied to a recliner for hours. I have read many good books in seven years. But, I'm hitting a dry patch. Too much of what I've read lately is mediocre or repetitive. I don't even finish the downright awful stuff. My book club's latest choice has received rave reviews, so I'm hopeful. But, then what??
I could do chores around the house, I guess. I'm trying to downsize my possessions so that when I die my nieces don't have to spend months swimming through my junk. Every time I attack my office, I don't get very far. I hate throwing away something I might need. And trust me, if I throw it away, I will need it. A recent example involved stories I wrote as a kid. My friend Joan Nobile and I wrote mini-books about people who interested us, those people specifically being Julie Andrews and Thomas Grugen, our handsome gym teacher who lived with his mother in a home a few blocks away from the school. I threw them away one day while cleaning out a filing cabinet. About six months later, I was reunited with Joan through Facebook. We were reminiscing about how we had written stories together the last time we saw each other some forty-five years ago. She flipped out and was so excited when I told her I still had them! Well, I had had them up until six months ago. Damn.
Gardening exhausts me. I think it's because I am so short. I was trimming the bushes in front of my house with the electric trimmer I bought for $8 at a yardsale. It's a great tool, but my arms ached the next day from holding it so high and tight. I need to cut back the lilac bush, but I'd have to stand on a ladder to do that. And I'd need my chain saw which is even heavier to hold and control. Can you visualize the potential disaster as bloodily as I can? Bending to plant bulbs? Oh, my knees and back ache just thinking about it. I may be short, but I'm not that close to the ground. I had nice petunias this summer, as long as I replaced the hanging pot every month. Who can't grow petunias? Me! A friend from the pool confessed that she had artificial flowers scattered throughout her garden. From the road they look good. And, for those of us on fixed incomes, they are a lot cheaper than hanging gardens.
Volunteering! All organizations are looking for volunteers, right? No they're not. They are looking to regularly schedule people who are willing to work a parttime job for no pay. I tried that this summer when I volunteered at my church to run the office while the regular secretary was on vacation. I enjoyed the job, and I love helping my church, but I ran into some problems trying to schedule the rest of my life around my "work" days. That's not quite doing what I want when I want, is it? I will continue to volunteer at my church. Grace Place is a wonderful thing for me to do. So is the Food Bank. But, I'm not so sure I want to go to all the meetings involved with being a volunteer. I hate meetings; they give me a form of PTSD directly related to all the faculty/in-service meetings that traumatized me during my thirty years as a teacher. I shudder at the mere mention of meetings. Meetings are the reason I won't consider any kind of a club, no matter how much I like red hats.
Walking is free. I could walk. I would lose weight. It would take up a lot of my time because I walk a sloooooow mile. Yep, walking! That's what I can do. Did I mention my aching knees and back? I think I will take a walk tomorrow. It's too dark right now. Guess I'll take Trixie with me for some Mommy and dog-ter time. Oh wait, not tomorrow. Trixie will be having dental work. Maybe I'll go without her. No, that's cheating. She would love to walk with me. Oh ok, I'll walk tomorrow, with or without her. That's one hour down.....or maybe just a half hour. Unless it rains.
I really should start doing what I had planned to do when I retired seven years ago. I promised myself I would take day trips. But, I haven't done much of that because those day trips can add up. Gas is expensive. If I'm parking in the city, that's a chunk of change. Then there's the expense of lunch. Perhaps there's an admission cost. Day trips can cost a lot. I spent one afternoon taking a day trip to see the sunflowers in Harford County. They were breathtaking!! And free! I took lots of pictures. I'd love to do more things like that, so I am asking for your ideas.
What are some interesting ways to spend a day? I don't know how many of them I have left, and I'd sure like to live each one to the fullest.
My pat answer when people ask about retired life has always required a big grin and a reply like this, "Great! I can do whatever I want when I want." However, the truth of the matter is that I have been retired for seven years now and I am running out of ideas for what I want when I want. Ideas that don't involve a lot of money, that is.
I have spent many hours reading. A good book can keep me tied to a recliner for hours. I have read many good books in seven years. But, I'm hitting a dry patch. Too much of what I've read lately is mediocre or repetitive. I don't even finish the downright awful stuff. My book club's latest choice has received rave reviews, so I'm hopeful. But, then what??
I could do chores around the house, I guess. I'm trying to downsize my possessions so that when I die my nieces don't have to spend months swimming through my junk. Every time I attack my office, I don't get very far. I hate throwing away something I might need. And trust me, if I throw it away, I will need it. A recent example involved stories I wrote as a kid. My friend Joan Nobile and I wrote mini-books about people who interested us, those people specifically being Julie Andrews and Thomas Grugen, our handsome gym teacher who lived with his mother in a home a few blocks away from the school. I threw them away one day while cleaning out a filing cabinet. About six months later, I was reunited with Joan through Facebook. We were reminiscing about how we had written stories together the last time we saw each other some forty-five years ago. She flipped out and was so excited when I told her I still had them! Well, I had had them up until six months ago. Damn.
Gardening exhausts me. I think it's because I am so short. I was trimming the bushes in front of my house with the electric trimmer I bought for $8 at a yardsale. It's a great tool, but my arms ached the next day from holding it so high and tight. I need to cut back the lilac bush, but I'd have to stand on a ladder to do that. And I'd need my chain saw which is even heavier to hold and control. Can you visualize the potential disaster as bloodily as I can? Bending to plant bulbs? Oh, my knees and back ache just thinking about it. I may be short, but I'm not that close to the ground. I had nice petunias this summer, as long as I replaced the hanging pot every month. Who can't grow petunias? Me! A friend from the pool confessed that she had artificial flowers scattered throughout her garden. From the road they look good. And, for those of us on fixed incomes, they are a lot cheaper than hanging gardens.
Volunteering! All organizations are looking for volunteers, right? No they're not. They are looking to regularly schedule people who are willing to work a parttime job for no pay. I tried that this summer when I volunteered at my church to run the office while the regular secretary was on vacation. I enjoyed the job, and I love helping my church, but I ran into some problems trying to schedule the rest of my life around my "work" days. That's not quite doing what I want when I want, is it? I will continue to volunteer at my church. Grace Place is a wonderful thing for me to do. So is the Food Bank. But, I'm not so sure I want to go to all the meetings involved with being a volunteer. I hate meetings; they give me a form of PTSD directly related to all the faculty/in-service meetings that traumatized me during my thirty years as a teacher. I shudder at the mere mention of meetings. Meetings are the reason I won't consider any kind of a club, no matter how much I like red hats.
Walking is free. I could walk. I would lose weight. It would take up a lot of my time because I walk a sloooooow mile. Yep, walking! That's what I can do. Did I mention my aching knees and back? I think I will take a walk tomorrow. It's too dark right now. Guess I'll take Trixie with me for some Mommy and dog-ter time. Oh wait, not tomorrow. Trixie will be having dental work. Maybe I'll go without her. No, that's cheating. She would love to walk with me. Oh ok, I'll walk tomorrow, with or without her. That's one hour down.....or maybe just a half hour. Unless it rains.
I really should start doing what I had planned to do when I retired seven years ago. I promised myself I would take day trips. But, I haven't done much of that because those day trips can add up. Gas is expensive. If I'm parking in the city, that's a chunk of change. Then there's the expense of lunch. Perhaps there's an admission cost. Day trips can cost a lot. I spent one afternoon taking a day trip to see the sunflowers in Harford County. They were breathtaking!! And free! I took lots of pictures. I'd love to do more things like that, so I am asking for your ideas.
What are some interesting ways to spend a day? I don't know how many of them I have left, and I'd sure like to live each one to the fullest.
Monday, September 8, 2014
Not so amusing...domestic violence
Right now, the video of Ray Rice beating his wife in the elevator of a Jersey casino is the talk of the Facebook feeds. This is just my observation and opinion, but men and women seem to react to it differently. Both are shocked. But the men seem to focus on the lack of punishment meted out by the Ravens. The women seem to focus on how could she let that happen and go back to him. I'm not surprised by either view.
Domestic violence is a crime that our society is not always sure is a crime. It's not a new crime, and the way it plays out in the media isn't new either.
I'm in my sixties. I vividly remember a block party one summer when I was a kid (not my block, but where friends of our family lived). At one point in the early evening, there was a loud ruckus from the corner rowhouse. The men gathered together to go do their neighborly duty, stop the drunk husband from killing his wife. The women gathered not so much to comfort her, but to make sure she was ok and make sure she didn't aggravate him again that night. No one gave any thought to calling the police because nobody thought this was anymore than family business. A crime to beat your wife? No, just a family dispute. Once the men had intervened, the event was over and the party continued. And life went on, pretty much unchanged.
In my working years, I knew too many women who had banged into open doors, had fender benders in a car that had no dents, tripped over toys that turned them black and blue from head to toe, wore sun glasses inside the workplace because their eyes were sensitive to light, or wore long sleeves and turtlenecks during hot weather because they were "cold." No amount of makeup hid what those women were hiding; their husbands, many of whom were "pillars" of the community, were beating the hell out of them.
If the police were called, they counseled the men like my father's generation did. Then they moved on to "real" crimes.
I do not believe it is up to the Ravens to punish Ray Rice. What he did is a crime, supposedly punishable by the law. But he isn't in jail and he will play football again. If he's good this season, mark my words, all will be forgiven and forgotten.
In fact, as I read the shocking statements about this event on a friend's page, I am convinced he is already on the way to forgiveness:
I would take a couple punches for half his salary...
At least Rice didn't kill anyone. Baby steps.
I am a GIRL/WOMAN and my father taught me , if you hit a man his reflexes are So fast, you ARE going to get hit back. If she HAD NOT hit him, I'm quite sure she would have not received what she put out! WOMEN WANT EQUAL RIGHTS, KEEP YOUR HAND TO YOURSELF!!!
I am not going to discuss why his wife didn't leave him. There are too many complicated reasons why women don't leave. The fact remains, though, none of those reasons are criminal.
These are just a few disturbing revelations about domestic violence:
---Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. ("Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report," Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p.3.)
--- There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters. (Schneider, 1990).
--- One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991
--- A battering incident is rarely an isolated event.
I leave you with this thought:
Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.
Domestic violence is a crime that our society is not always sure is a crime. It's not a new crime, and the way it plays out in the media isn't new either.
I'm in my sixties. I vividly remember a block party one summer when I was a kid (not my block, but where friends of our family lived). At one point in the early evening, there was a loud ruckus from the corner rowhouse. The men gathered together to go do their neighborly duty, stop the drunk husband from killing his wife. The women gathered not so much to comfort her, but to make sure she was ok and make sure she didn't aggravate him again that night. No one gave any thought to calling the police because nobody thought this was anymore than family business. A crime to beat your wife? No, just a family dispute. Once the men had intervened, the event was over and the party continued. And life went on, pretty much unchanged.
In my working years, I knew too many women who had banged into open doors, had fender benders in a car that had no dents, tripped over toys that turned them black and blue from head to toe, wore sun glasses inside the workplace because their eyes were sensitive to light, or wore long sleeves and turtlenecks during hot weather because they were "cold." No amount of makeup hid what those women were hiding; their husbands, many of whom were "pillars" of the community, were beating the hell out of them.
If the police were called, they counseled the men like my father's generation did. Then they moved on to "real" crimes.
I do not believe it is up to the Ravens to punish Ray Rice. What he did is a crime, supposedly punishable by the law. But he isn't in jail and he will play football again. If he's good this season, mark my words, all will be forgiven and forgotten.
In fact, as I read the shocking statements about this event on a friend's page, I am convinced he is already on the way to forgiveness:
I would take a couple punches for half his salary...
At least Rice didn't kill anyone. Baby steps.
I am a GIRL/WOMAN and my father taught me , if you hit a man his reflexes are So fast, you ARE going to get hit back. If she HAD NOT hit him, I'm quite sure she would have not received what she put out! WOMEN WANT EQUAL RIGHTS, KEEP YOUR HAND TO YOURSELF!!!
I am not going to discuss why his wife didn't leave him. There are too many complicated reasons why women don't leave. The fact remains, though, none of those reasons are criminal.
These are just a few disturbing revelations about domestic violence:
---Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States, more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. ("Violence Against Women, A Majority Staff Report," Committee on the Judiciary, United States Senate, 102nd Congress, October 1992, p.3.)
--- There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters. (Schneider, 1990).
--- One woman is beaten by her husband or partner every 15 seconds in the United States. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991
--- A battering incident is rarely an isolated event.
I leave you with this thought:
Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.
Time will tell, Ray Rice. Time will tell.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Labor Day Blues
When I was a kid, our neighborhood had a block party the last Sunday in August every year to "celebrate" Labor Day. It centered at the D'Aprile's house, but was played out on the whole block. It was a great time! Good food. Good friends. Neighborhood kids roaming wild into the night. One year was particularly memorable; Mrs. D'Aprile went into labor and delivered a son. The party went on, even though she was at the hospital laboring away. I used to love those parties and running wild with the neighborhood kids. However, I still can recall that awful sense of dread that filled me when I'd go to bed. School. Work. Schedules. Ugh.
Labor Day is my least favorite "holiday." What can you say about a day that signals the end of fun and the return to a regular work schedule? Yes, I know I am retired. I know I don't have to go to work. However, once again, committee meetings will command assigned evenings on my schedule. The pool is closed, even if the day is a sunny sweltering ninety degrees. Routine. Requirements. Short, short days. And eventually winter. Yep, nothing much to celebrate about Labor Day, is there?
Maybe..... Maybe not.
Barack Obama believes Americans should celebrate Labor Day because workers are the foundation of civilization:
It was the labor movement that helped secure so much of what we take for granted today. The 40-hour work week, the minimum wage, family leave, health insurance, Social Security, Medicare, retirement plans. The cornerstones of the middle-class security all bear the union label.
However, I suspect many more of you are willing to celebrate Labor Day for the same reason Bill Dodds does:
Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.
Whatever the reason, fire up the barbeque and enjoy your weekend!
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