Time for something uplifting. Believe it or not, there are things in this life that make me laugh. It's about time I shared. I'm going to talk about some of the people I encounter in my life. I will try to keep them anonymous.
Remember my neighbors across the street? The ones I used to watch beating their bubble Christmas decorations into standing upright? Well, guess what? It's April, and those decorations are still lying dead in the front yard. I've known that people don't always take down their lights, but these are the first people I've seen turn their front yard into a bubble decoration graveyard. I laugh every time I drive past.
Last week at church, a woman who appears to me to be in fine health, asked me for recommendations for songs to be played at her funeral. I was flabbergasted. What advice would you give her? It was awful for me; all I could think of were Beatles songs. I Don't Want to Spoil the Party, So I'll Go. She's Leaving Home. Eleanor Rigby. Maxwell's Silver Hammer. I went with Amazing Grace, but she rolled her eyes and turned her back to me because everybody has that one.
Remember the guys in my Cane Fu class? They've gone from distrusting me to everybody wanting to be my personal tutor. Because I just don't do it right. And they're correcting me for my own good because they don't want me to get attacked and not survive. I have to stop hitting like a girl. Kicking like a girl. Walking like a girl. Last Thursday, I had one guy behind me swinging my arm like you might teach someone how to golf, another beside me telling me to follow his moves, and two on the sidelines giving directions. I've never been so popular. I've begged Terry at the Senior Center to try to get another woman to take the class and the pressure off me. No luck.
Friday, I tried a new class at the Senior Center, chair Zumba. I injured my knee a while ago, and regular Zumba cripples me for a few days after each class, so I figured I'd try that class. The instructor's good. I worked up a sweat, and my arms felt the burn. But my classmates, oh my classmates. There are a few women my age and above who work out in a way I'm used to doing. But the rest of the class is the happiest group of adults you'll ever find. They are mentally challenged adults bused in from a local assisted living center. I laughed the whole afternoon, not AT them but WITH them. They were so happy to have a new person in class, and they made sure to tell me I was doing good. One of them, a blind gentleman, heard the beginning of Tom Jones's Delilah and he just belted it out. He had a deep bass voice, and we gave him a round of applause. But the best part was Pharrell What-his-name's Happy. That's a powerful song. People who had been sitting there kind of flapping their hands, perked up to dance. Everybody was singing along and dancing with joy. As soon as the music stopped, they all sat down again, somber, like a switch had been flipped. But, I was still smiling. I love that song and its effect on people. I'm going to enjoy that class...I think.
Winter was rough on me. March wears me out; I hate that month. But it's April! It was sunny and warm today. Time to realize there is joy to be had in the simplest of things (and people).
Monday, April 14, 2014
Thursday, April 10, 2014
In Memory of My Mom
I did it again today. I turned to the telephone thinking I'd call Mom. It was a very brief lapse of reality, but it surprises me that seven years later, I still want to call my mother and discuss something with her. We rarely had really long talks, just lots of snippets whenever the need to chat presented itself. Towards the end of her life, I could barely talk to her. My throat thickened when I tried to get the words out. I remember one perfectly beautiful early evening when we should have had a talk. My sister and the girls were out. I was sitting by her bed in my wheelchair (my leg was broken). The outside door to her room was open. It was spring. The air smelled sweet. As the sun set, it warmed the room. I heard children playing across the street. Mom was in and out of consciousness. She wanted her dog to sit on her bed, but Mitzi was like me. She was sad, and no matter how much she loved my mom, she would not get on the bed. My Trixie came to the rescue. She snuggled up on Mom's side, and didn't move. I'd never seen her so subdued and gentle. Mom and I both petted her. I kept sitting there thinking, Say something! Now! You might not get another chance. But I couldn't talk, and I still feel incomplete (guilty?) for all of the things I wish I had said. But we communicated in a way. When our hands touched as we petted Trixie, we'd stop petting and hold each other.
April 11 marks the seventh anniversary of Mom's death. What I could barely survive one day at a time has now been survived for 2,555 days. What follows is the eulogy I delivered from my wheelchair with a three year old Billie sitting in my lap, trying to make me not sad.
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I used to get really frustrated with my students who wouldn't write because they didn't know what to say. They never shut their mouths in class, so how could it be that they didn't know what to write on a piece of paper? Well, I understand very clearly now because of the difficulty I've had starting this eulogy. I wanted it to be so right, so perfect, that I couldn't even start it. I wanted to make sure I did my mom justice. Finally, I realized I don't have enough words in me to do her justice. So, I'll share my memories with you and hope that you all will continue to share your memories of Mom with us.
My mom was a lot of fun. All of us have memories of the good times. I can remember sitting at the dinner table many times over the years, drinking coffee, eating dessert, and laughing so hard that I'd have to make a dash for the bathroom. Mom liked a party. She went on cruises with my sister and her friends...maybe some of you have heard the story about the nude beach or the scavenger hunt on the ship. Ask Helen, she'll be happy to tell you. The D'Apriles hosted the annual Labor Day party for many years. Dad would often be in bed long before Mom even got home. Probably the most fun my mom had was when she hosted the traditional Christmas dinner at our house. Fifty years of dinners! All the relatives came and families grew, but we always managed to crowd around the dining room table for dessert and family stories. No matter how much work it was, Mom was always happy at the end of the day as she tucked away the china and silver for another year.
My mom was full of love. Never did we experience it more deeply than when the little ones came into our lives. First came Lien and Laurel, Mom's unofficial grandkids. Mom babysat them, went to their school events, baked Laurel her apple cakes, and remembered them every birthday. When she finally had her own official grandchildren, she was thrilled. I remember the moment she and Reba met for the first time. It was at the D.C. airport. Helen held Reba as she introduced them and they just stared at each other, sizing each other up. After that, the whole family practically lived with my sister in Virginia. Billie came to live with us about a year ago. She made Mom laugh all the time with her funny expressions. Billie is a real waterbug, so Mom was well-known at the swim club. She took the girls there on many hot days and jumped in the water with them. Everybody knew Reba and Billie's grandmother and everybody called her by name, Bubbe. Each weekend when I'd call home, Mom couldn't wait to tell me the latest Reba and Billie stories.
My mother was generous. In the lean years when I was a new teacher, I never came home to visit without having gas money tucked in my pocket before I left. She took us and our friends to plays, out to meals, on day trips, and insisted on picking up the tab. Her generosity is a legacy left to her children. I know that I give freely in the way my mom did, as do my sister and brother.
My mother was strong. She was very ill these past few years, but she was determined to live for her children and grandchildren for as long as she could. Whatever it takes was her motto. We were really lucky to have doctors who saw Mom as a person. Dr. Morgan, Mom's dialysis doctor, was an angel in all of our lives. I was constantly awed by my mother's determination. I remember one time when she had to have surgery to open up a dialysis access that had clogged. Because my dad was seriously ill and she needed to be able to go to the hospital to be with him as soon as possible, she took the surgery without the anesthesia. Having recently had surgery myself for the first time, I can't imagine how she did it.
After my Dad died, Mom went to live with Helen, the girls, and my brother. We laughed about the Snyder Compound, but it was truly a wonderful living arrangement. Although the noise could be deafening at times, there was nothing more melodic to my mother than the sound of her children and grandchildren laughing. My siblings took great care of Mom. When she could no longer drive herself to dialysis, Glenn was up at 5 in the morning, three times a week, to take her. The care my sister gave her allowed Mom to come home at the end and spend her final days with her family. Whenever she was awake, Mom would say how glad she was to be at home. I cannot thank my sister enough for making that possible for my mother. The one thing Mom was concerned about was that we would take care of each other after she was gone. I think in taking care of Mom we learned to take care of each other. And maybe that's why she was finally able to let go.
We will miss our mother.
April 11 marks the seventh anniversary of Mom's death. What I could barely survive one day at a time has now been survived for 2,555 days. What follows is the eulogy I delivered from my wheelchair with a three year old Billie sitting in my lap, trying to make me not sad.
*************************
I used to get really frustrated with my students who wouldn't write because they didn't know what to say. They never shut their mouths in class, so how could it be that they didn't know what to write on a piece of paper? Well, I understand very clearly now because of the difficulty I've had starting this eulogy. I wanted it to be so right, so perfect, that I couldn't even start it. I wanted to make sure I did my mom justice. Finally, I realized I don't have enough words in me to do her justice. So, I'll share my memories with you and hope that you all will continue to share your memories of Mom with us.
My mom was a lot of fun. All of us have memories of the good times. I can remember sitting at the dinner table many times over the years, drinking coffee, eating dessert, and laughing so hard that I'd have to make a dash for the bathroom. Mom liked a party. She went on cruises with my sister and her friends...maybe some of you have heard the story about the nude beach or the scavenger hunt on the ship. Ask Helen, she'll be happy to tell you. The D'Apriles hosted the annual Labor Day party for many years. Dad would often be in bed long before Mom even got home. Probably the most fun my mom had was when she hosted the traditional Christmas dinner at our house. Fifty years of dinners! All the relatives came and families grew, but we always managed to crowd around the dining room table for dessert and family stories. No matter how much work it was, Mom was always happy at the end of the day as she tucked away the china and silver for another year.
My mom was full of love. Never did we experience it more deeply than when the little ones came into our lives. First came Lien and Laurel, Mom's unofficial grandkids. Mom babysat them, went to their school events, baked Laurel her apple cakes, and remembered them every birthday. When she finally had her own official grandchildren, she was thrilled. I remember the moment she and Reba met for the first time. It was at the D.C. airport. Helen held Reba as she introduced them and they just stared at each other, sizing each other up. After that, the whole family practically lived with my sister in Virginia. Billie came to live with us about a year ago. She made Mom laugh all the time with her funny expressions. Billie is a real waterbug, so Mom was well-known at the swim club. She took the girls there on many hot days and jumped in the water with them. Everybody knew Reba and Billie's grandmother and everybody called her by name, Bubbe. Each weekend when I'd call home, Mom couldn't wait to tell me the latest Reba and Billie stories.
My mother was generous. In the lean years when I was a new teacher, I never came home to visit without having gas money tucked in my pocket before I left. She took us and our friends to plays, out to meals, on day trips, and insisted on picking up the tab. Her generosity is a legacy left to her children. I know that I give freely in the way my mom did, as do my sister and brother.
My mother was strong. She was very ill these past few years, but she was determined to live for her children and grandchildren for as long as she could. Whatever it takes was her motto. We were really lucky to have doctors who saw Mom as a person. Dr. Morgan, Mom's dialysis doctor, was an angel in all of our lives. I was constantly awed by my mother's determination. I remember one time when she had to have surgery to open up a dialysis access that had clogged. Because my dad was seriously ill and she needed to be able to go to the hospital to be with him as soon as possible, she took the surgery without the anesthesia. Having recently had surgery myself for the first time, I can't imagine how she did it.
After my Dad died, Mom went to live with Helen, the girls, and my brother. We laughed about the Snyder Compound, but it was truly a wonderful living arrangement. Although the noise could be deafening at times, there was nothing more melodic to my mother than the sound of her children and grandchildren laughing. My siblings took great care of Mom. When she could no longer drive herself to dialysis, Glenn was up at 5 in the morning, three times a week, to take her. The care my sister gave her allowed Mom to come home at the end and spend her final days with her family. Whenever she was awake, Mom would say how glad she was to be at home. I cannot thank my sister enough for making that possible for my mother. The one thing Mom was concerned about was that we would take care of each other after she was gone. I think in taking care of Mom we learned to take care of each other. And maybe that's why she was finally able to let go.
We will miss our mother.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Bill Horner
The past two days have been Spring-like. Looking at the tree in my front yard gives me hope that warm and sunny weather is on the way. You see, the buds are forming on my pear tree. When it explodes into blossoms, Spring will have finally sprung. That's my semi-scientific theory about the change of seasons. I ought to know, as this tree was a gift from my favorite science teacher, Bill Horner.
Bill was a science teacher at my middle school. Correction, he was more than a science teacher, he was a legend. And rightly so. Walking into Bill's classroom was always an adventure. Students never knew what was going to happen. It could be an actual rainstorm, thunder and all. Maybe it would be an experiment using sulphur and turning the hallway into one long stink bomb. Whatever happened, it was guaranteed to be fun. Kids moved in science class. Learning was hands on. Kids laughed. The teacher laughed. And everybody learned... a lot.
I always felt sorry for the science teacher who shared the other half of the team with Bill because very, very few kids wanted to be in that class. Parents intervened and used all of their influence to make sure their kids had the Horner experience. One year, the last of the Miller kids was assigned to the other teacher. Bill had taught all the Millers (and there were a lot of them) and he was very fond of the family. So, he approached the principal and asked to switch classes with the other teacher in order to teach the last Miller. The other teacher, a newbie to our school, was indignant when his request was granted. In fact, she cried and whined to anyone who would listen about how unfair it was. I tried to explain the unspoken politics of a small close-knit school so she'd know not to take it personally, but to no avail. She pouted the next few years, until she got a transfer.
Bill was a legend in the classroom, and he was the life of the party outside of it. The best parties were held at Bill's, and you were only invited if he wanted you. It took me a while to break into the circle, and I felt like I'd won a prize when I got my first invite. His Christmas parties were the best. Great food. Lots of booze. Enough people to pack his tiny house to the brim. He was the leader of the faculty fraternity. I'm not sure what all those guys did when they got together, but every now and then, a story would leak. One year, I knew the guys were going over to his house for a guy thing on one of the last days of school. I decided it was time to desegregate that party, so a few of us brave women also stopped by for a beer. He laughed when we showed up at the door, but he handed out the cold ones and we stayed for a few.
Bill was my friend. I used to tell him all the time that I wanted to marry him for his money. The kids thought we made a good couple. In fact, one of the mothers of a student we had in common invited us both to dinner one time just to try to get a spark going between us. I loved that man. He used to tell anybody who would listen that I was the best English teacher in that school. I wasn't, and I know that. But, I just beamed when someone would tell me what he said. He used to type encouraging letters to everybody. I treasure those he sent me. As I said, I loved that man.
When he finally reached his last day of teaching, it was a day during which the whole school honored him. Everybody wore neckties because Mr. Professional Teacher always wore a tie. My kids wrote a play portraying him as getting a college education during the dinosaur years. They sang "The Wind Beneath My Wings" to him, and everybody teared up. He was one of a kind. I was honored to teach with him and blessed to know him.
If you are reading this, and smiling to yourself with your own Bill Horner memories, please leave your stories in the comments section for all to see. I never want to forget him.
Bill was a science teacher at my middle school. Correction, he was more than a science teacher, he was a legend. And rightly so. Walking into Bill's classroom was always an adventure. Students never knew what was going to happen. It could be an actual rainstorm, thunder and all. Maybe it would be an experiment using sulphur and turning the hallway into one long stink bomb. Whatever happened, it was guaranteed to be fun. Kids moved in science class. Learning was hands on. Kids laughed. The teacher laughed. And everybody learned... a lot.
I always felt sorry for the science teacher who shared the other half of the team with Bill because very, very few kids wanted to be in that class. Parents intervened and used all of their influence to make sure their kids had the Horner experience. One year, the last of the Miller kids was assigned to the other teacher. Bill had taught all the Millers (and there were a lot of them) and he was very fond of the family. So, he approached the principal and asked to switch classes with the other teacher in order to teach the last Miller. The other teacher, a newbie to our school, was indignant when his request was granted. In fact, she cried and whined to anyone who would listen about how unfair it was. I tried to explain the unspoken politics of a small close-knit school so she'd know not to take it personally, but to no avail. She pouted the next few years, until she got a transfer.
Bill was a legend in the classroom, and he was the life of the party outside of it. The best parties were held at Bill's, and you were only invited if he wanted you. It took me a while to break into the circle, and I felt like I'd won a prize when I got my first invite. His Christmas parties were the best. Great food. Lots of booze. Enough people to pack his tiny house to the brim. He was the leader of the faculty fraternity. I'm not sure what all those guys did when they got together, but every now and then, a story would leak. One year, I knew the guys were going over to his house for a guy thing on one of the last days of school. I decided it was time to desegregate that party, so a few of us brave women also stopped by for a beer. He laughed when we showed up at the door, but he handed out the cold ones and we stayed for a few.
Bill was my friend. I used to tell him all the time that I wanted to marry him for his money. The kids thought we made a good couple. In fact, one of the mothers of a student we had in common invited us both to dinner one time just to try to get a spark going between us. I loved that man. He used to tell anybody who would listen that I was the best English teacher in that school. I wasn't, and I know that. But, I just beamed when someone would tell me what he said. He used to type encouraging letters to everybody. I treasure those he sent me. As I said, I loved that man.
When he finally reached his last day of teaching, it was a day during which the whole school honored him. Everybody wore neckties because Mr. Professional Teacher always wore a tie. My kids wrote a play portraying him as getting a college education during the dinosaur years. They sang "The Wind Beneath My Wings" to him, and everybody teared up. He was one of a kind. I was honored to teach with him and blessed to know him.
If you are reading this, and smiling to yourself with your own Bill Horner memories, please leave your stories in the comments section for all to see. I never want to forget him.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Winter Blahs
This has been a rough winter. Icy. Gray. COLD. Expensive. At times, my SAD was crippling. I was musing about the things I've done to perk myself up, and I wonder how many of you did some of these things, too.
I frequently visited the travel pages on the internet. Never has a trip to the Caribbean looked so welcoming. Honestly, I think I warm up about ten degrees just looking at a picturesque beach. I even took a cruise this February. I plan to take a vacation next February, too. Those warm days in Nassau seem so far away.
I curled up in a blanket in front of the space heater and read a lot of books. Sandra Dallas is my new favorite author. Her pioneer women survived winters that made mine look like a vacation in comparison. It is not too late to add to your reading list. Pick out something by Sandra, sit back, and enjoy.
I cooked some yummy meals. Food Lion sells stuffed scallops. I'd buy a package of them, each deliciously stuffed on the half-shell, and warm them in a 400 degree oven for thirty minutes. During that cook time, I sauteed asparagus in olive oil and Marsala wine. Oh yummy. Unfortunately, I baked. I grazed. I gained.
Some of my closets were cleared of excess junk. I often read posts from minimalist friends on Facebook. My goal is a place for every thing I own. Hopefully, those things without niches will find new places: on the yard sale tables, with friends, at the consignment shop, in the trash.
I discovered new television addictions. Just what I needed, right? Thank you Adrian O. for hooking me up with Shemar and Criminal Minds. Do you know how many times a day one can catch an episode of that crime show? Enough times that I can start figuring out who the unsubs are and why they do what they do. TCM, Turner Classic Movies, shows great stuff and it's commercial free. Has anyone here ever seen Autumn Leaves? What a movie! Marty, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Boy With the Green Hair, Where the Boys Are, How to Marry a Millionaire, Sleepless in Seattle, and the list goes on and on. Did I mention no commercials? Check it out.
I bought stylish winter hats. Two of them, in fact. Both seem inspired by Downton Abbey (see above TV reference). I enjoy wearing them and people frequently compliment my chapeaus. A kind word always brings a warm smile on a cold winter day.
Tomorrow marks the first day of Spring. The crocuses are poking through the hard soil. The trees are starting to bud. The grass, when you can see it, is turning green.
The weather people are calling for another snow storm next week. Sigh.......
I frequently visited the travel pages on the internet. Never has a trip to the Caribbean looked so welcoming. Honestly, I think I warm up about ten degrees just looking at a picturesque beach. I even took a cruise this February. I plan to take a vacation next February, too. Those warm days in Nassau seem so far away.
I curled up in a blanket in front of the space heater and read a lot of books. Sandra Dallas is my new favorite author. Her pioneer women survived winters that made mine look like a vacation in comparison. It is not too late to add to your reading list. Pick out something by Sandra, sit back, and enjoy.
I cooked some yummy meals. Food Lion sells stuffed scallops. I'd buy a package of them, each deliciously stuffed on the half-shell, and warm them in a 400 degree oven for thirty minutes. During that cook time, I sauteed asparagus in olive oil and Marsala wine. Oh yummy. Unfortunately, I baked. I grazed. I gained.
Some of my closets were cleared of excess junk. I often read posts from minimalist friends on Facebook. My goal is a place for every thing I own. Hopefully, those things without niches will find new places: on the yard sale tables, with friends, at the consignment shop, in the trash.
I discovered new television addictions. Just what I needed, right? Thank you Adrian O. for hooking me up with Shemar and Criminal Minds. Do you know how many times a day one can catch an episode of that crime show? Enough times that I can start figuring out who the unsubs are and why they do what they do. TCM, Turner Classic Movies, shows great stuff and it's commercial free. Has anyone here ever seen Autumn Leaves? What a movie! Marty, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Boy With the Green Hair, Where the Boys Are, How to Marry a Millionaire, Sleepless in Seattle, and the list goes on and on. Did I mention no commercials? Check it out.
I bought stylish winter hats. Two of them, in fact. Both seem inspired by Downton Abbey (see above TV reference). I enjoy wearing them and people frequently compliment my chapeaus. A kind word always brings a warm smile on a cold winter day.
Tomorrow marks the first day of Spring. The crocuses are poking through the hard soil. The trees are starting to bud. The grass, when you can see it, is turning green.
The weather people are calling for another snow storm next week. Sigh.......
Monday, March 17, 2014
Belle Knox Does Duke
I was watching The View this morning. One of their guests was an eighteen year old Duke University student who is financing her way through college by doing porn. She is proud of her night job and feels "empowered" by it.
Empowered? Doesn't she realize that women with absolutely no choices have turned to selling their bodies since the beginning of time? I'm not sure what is empowering about it. When your own body becomes a commercial commodity, where is the power? This young girl is sick of the way women have been poorly treated in the porn industry, so she "is taking a stand against it." How? By joining the ranks?
She was throwing out statistics concerning her position like a learned scholar. "Ninety-nine percent of families can't afford sixty thousand dollars a year." Really? How in the world does Duke fill its classes? There are no alternatives for families? How about a few years in junior college cheaply earning those universal beginning credits? How about attending a school one can afford? Law degrees are available at many colleges, why pick sixty-thousand-dollars-a-year Duke?
Her next mind-blowing statement had my eyes rolling in their sockets. "I, like most other people, have been watching porn since I was twelve." Most other people? Since twelve? Show of hands here - who is reading this and nodding their heads in agreement? Barbara Walters cracked me up when she asked if this kid watched porn alone or with her parents. They are so supportive of her career after all. She watched alone everybody. Her parents may be supportive, but they didn't knowingly contribute to the delinquency of a minor.
I watched today in disbelief. Women have historically used their bodies to earn money. Where is the empowerment? Does it come into being when one thumbs her nose at society in order to do what she wants? Does it happen when one signs autographs and poses with fans at a convention for the porn industry? Does it happen when one feels strong enough to rise above the ostracizing by her college peers of her sexual Joan of Arc act? Or does it happen because one has money, and in our country, no matter how you get it, money means power?
I'm not sure how much longer this young woman will feel empowered. Young people have been denied jobs because their Facebook pages show them partying and drinking alcohol. No matter what degree is issued from what college, if her resume lists porn star in her employment history, where does she think her resume will go? To the top of the pile or the circular file? If she chooses not to include porn movies in her work history, will any company consider her as lying by omission when they eventually discover her history in the industry? How empowered will she feel when she is fired? Dishonesty will get her fired, not her history with porn. However, her history with porn will most likely prevent her from being hired in the first place. The whole job hunting experience will actually be out of her control. Where is the empowerment in that?
Empowered? Doesn't she realize that women with absolutely no choices have turned to selling their bodies since the beginning of time? I'm not sure what is empowering about it. When your own body becomes a commercial commodity, where is the power? This young girl is sick of the way women have been poorly treated in the porn industry, so she "is taking a stand against it." How? By joining the ranks?
She was throwing out statistics concerning her position like a learned scholar. "Ninety-nine percent of families can't afford sixty thousand dollars a year." Really? How in the world does Duke fill its classes? There are no alternatives for families? How about a few years in junior college cheaply earning those universal beginning credits? How about attending a school one can afford? Law degrees are available at many colleges, why pick sixty-thousand-dollars-a-year Duke?
Her next mind-blowing statement had my eyes rolling in their sockets. "I, like most other people, have been watching porn since I was twelve." Most other people? Since twelve? Show of hands here - who is reading this and nodding their heads in agreement? Barbara Walters cracked me up when she asked if this kid watched porn alone or with her parents. They are so supportive of her career after all. She watched alone everybody. Her parents may be supportive, but they didn't knowingly contribute to the delinquency of a minor.
I watched today in disbelief. Women have historically used their bodies to earn money. Where is the empowerment? Does it come into being when one thumbs her nose at society in order to do what she wants? Does it happen when one signs autographs and poses with fans at a convention for the porn industry? Does it happen when one feels strong enough to rise above the ostracizing by her college peers of her sexual Joan of Arc act? Or does it happen because one has money, and in our country, no matter how you get it, money means power?
I'm not sure how much longer this young woman will feel empowered. Young people have been denied jobs because their Facebook pages show them partying and drinking alcohol. No matter what degree is issued from what college, if her resume lists porn star in her employment history, where does she think her resume will go? To the top of the pile or the circular file? If she chooses not to include porn movies in her work history, will any company consider her as lying by omission when they eventually discover her history in the industry? How empowered will she feel when she is fired? Dishonesty will get her fired, not her history with porn. However, her history with porn will most likely prevent her from being hired in the first place. The whole job hunting experience will actually be out of her control. Where is the empowerment in that?
Friday, March 14, 2014
Money
Money makes the world go round, the world go round, the world go round...... Did you simply read that or did you visualize Joel Grey, Cabaret, and find yourself humming along?
Few of us have enough of it. Judging from media stories of exorbitance, some of us have too much of it. I have yet to meet the person that has just the right amount.
Do you ever fantasize about what you'd do if a huge amount of cash just plopped down into your lap? I have. I'd donate a ton of it directly to teachers for their classrooms. I've dreamed of setting up a Make a Wish Foundation type organization for them. I'd read through the applications like I used to grade my papers. Good writing skills? Clear sentences? Excellent spelling? Those A+ requests would go to the head of the line. Of course, I would donate to my church. Now that we have a real rector, I'd enjoy using my money to help the memberships and missions expand. I'd gladly put to rest the money worries that drain people close to me of some of their joy of life. I'd continue doing random acts of kindness, but on a grand scale. What fun that would be! I'd get my house repainted, recarpeted, and refloored. Yep, I'd even spring for a new bathroom and a walk-in closet. Because I'd have money, I'd probably also need a security system. I don't have a desire to move, but a condo on a beach would be nice to visit.
Too much money would destroy one of the activities I really enjoy. I love bargains and bargain shopping. The thrill is in the hunt and the find at the yard sale, at a Boscov's markdown, or on Kohl's mystery discount days. Who wants to shop if you can afford anything you want? Who would even know what they want? I'd want everything I saw... for a while anyhow.
I have never been able to make a budget and stick strictly to it. A few years ago, I recorded all of my expenses so I could see exactly where my money was going. It was mind-boggling how those miscellaneous expenses added up. I'm doing it again this year and comparing it to that first year I recorded my expenses. Although I make the same number of entries per month, I am spending so much more on gas and groceries. I wish my income was growing in such leaps and bounds. While I don't budget, this book helps me keep an eye on what I spend and where I need to curtail my expenses. It helps a lot in managing my money. If you've never done this, I recommend giving it a try. It's eye-opening to see where it all goes.
But there's the rub. And the reason money worries me. It always goes. I can't see where I can cut the expenses by a whole lot. Though I live frugally as it is, it seems like anytime I get ahead, something happens that causes me to hit the savings account. Occasionally, I can't sleep at night thinking about the what-ifs should financial disaster strike. I've been in this house for twenty plus years; you homeowners know what that probably means.
Sometimes I get angry. I get angry at the Kanyes and Kims of the world who flaunt their greed and prosperity. I get annoyed at the influence such displays of extravagance have on impressionable people who think they can only be happy if living like that. I get angry at puffy politicians who have theirs and continually deny others who need help. There's a fundraising group for wounded warriors? Our government isn't there for them? That's shameful. Movie stars, overpaid athletes, puffy politicians -- give back a little. It would help a lot.
My mother would be turning over in her grave if she knew I was writing about money. That is the one thing she thought no one should ever discuss with acquaintances, let alone strangers. She's probably right, but I didn't give away too many personal details. Did I? I muse about many things, money only being one of them. Forgive me, Mom.
********
"Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with."
-- Charles Farrar Browne
Few of us have enough of it. Judging from media stories of exorbitance, some of us have too much of it. I have yet to meet the person that has just the right amount.
Do you ever fantasize about what you'd do if a huge amount of cash just plopped down into your lap? I have. I'd donate a ton of it directly to teachers for their classrooms. I've dreamed of setting up a Make a Wish Foundation type organization for them. I'd read through the applications like I used to grade my papers. Good writing skills? Clear sentences? Excellent spelling? Those A+ requests would go to the head of the line. Of course, I would donate to my church. Now that we have a real rector, I'd enjoy using my money to help the memberships and missions expand. I'd gladly put to rest the money worries that drain people close to me of some of their joy of life. I'd continue doing random acts of kindness, but on a grand scale. What fun that would be! I'd get my house repainted, recarpeted, and refloored. Yep, I'd even spring for a new bathroom and a walk-in closet. Because I'd have money, I'd probably also need a security system. I don't have a desire to move, but a condo on a beach would be nice to visit.
Too much money would destroy one of the activities I really enjoy. I love bargains and bargain shopping. The thrill is in the hunt and the find at the yard sale, at a Boscov's markdown, or on Kohl's mystery discount days. Who wants to shop if you can afford anything you want? Who would even know what they want? I'd want everything I saw... for a while anyhow.
I have never been able to make a budget and stick strictly to it. A few years ago, I recorded all of my expenses so I could see exactly where my money was going. It was mind-boggling how those miscellaneous expenses added up. I'm doing it again this year and comparing it to that first year I recorded my expenses. Although I make the same number of entries per month, I am spending so much more on gas and groceries. I wish my income was growing in such leaps and bounds. While I don't budget, this book helps me keep an eye on what I spend and where I need to curtail my expenses. It helps a lot in managing my money. If you've never done this, I recommend giving it a try. It's eye-opening to see where it all goes.
But there's the rub. And the reason money worries me. It always goes. I can't see where I can cut the expenses by a whole lot. Though I live frugally as it is, it seems like anytime I get ahead, something happens that causes me to hit the savings account. Occasionally, I can't sleep at night thinking about the what-ifs should financial disaster strike. I've been in this house for twenty plus years; you homeowners know what that probably means.
Sometimes I get angry. I get angry at the Kanyes and Kims of the world who flaunt their greed and prosperity. I get annoyed at the influence such displays of extravagance have on impressionable people who think they can only be happy if living like that. I get angry at puffy politicians who have theirs and continually deny others who need help. There's a fundraising group for wounded warriors? Our government isn't there for them? That's shameful. Movie stars, overpaid athletes, puffy politicians -- give back a little. It would help a lot.
My mother would be turning over in her grave if she knew I was writing about money. That is the one thing she thought no one should ever discuss with acquaintances, let alone strangers. She's probably right, but I didn't give away too many personal details. Did I? I muse about many things, money only being one of them. Forgive me, Mom.
********
"Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with."
-- Charles Farrar Browne
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Ode to Buddy Boy
Today my sister and her daughters had the sad task of helping their beagle, Buddy, travel across the Rainbow Bridge. I wasn't sure how to comfort her except to acknowledge how much he was loved and the good life she and her kids gave him. We always called him the Lucky Dog because he managed to get adopted. When Buddy was given up for adoption, he was not a cuddly Snoopy-like puppy. Think Walter the Farting Dog, and you have him.
Helen originally went to the SPCA to see about the basset hound up for adoption. When she met Abby, there was this sad-faced beagle hanging with her. They called him her brother, and if I remember correctly, Helen was given the option to take only the basset. But, if you know my sister, there was no leaving Buddy behind.
And it is a good thing she took him, because not only was he devoted to Abby, Abby the Diva Dog expected Buddy to attend to her. He was very good at warming a spot on the couch for Abby to sleep on when she was ready to roost. He attended to her hygiene, frequently cleaning her long basset ears. He was her punching bag when the grumpy girl wanted someone to snap at. He was always at her beck-and-call; poor Abby is going to be lost without him.
Buddy had one expression, old man serious. He looked the same way when he was happy as he did when he was hungry, sad, or lonely. He wasn't a snugly dog, but once he learned that pats on the head felt good, he'd nudge your hand and look at you with those sad eyes until you petted him. He backed away if Trixie or Abby pushed forward, but he'd wait and return later for more.
Buddy loved to eat. Anything. And I mean anything. I won't go into detail about how he supplemented his daily two bowls of diet food, but it was disgusting. One of my funniest memories of Buddy involves his voracious appetite. One night Helen made a roast for dinner. As we were cleaning up the kitchen and chatting away, our backs were to the table. We heard the telltale thump; Buddy had gotten on the table and he had the roast in his mouth. Well, it was an expensive hunk of meat, and Helen wasn't about to let him make off with it, so she grabbed the other end and a tug-of-war broke out. Helen was yelling at Buddy to drop it, he was hanging on tight, and Trixie snuck up and under the roast eating as much of it as she could grab. I guess Helen eventually won as he dropped the roast, but there were no midnight roast beef sandwiches for any of us.
I often thought of Buddy as Billie's dog. She'll tell you her guinea pig hates her and her bird ignores her, but Buddy was always there for her. She liked to take him for walks, in and out of the house. She'd snuggle with him on the couch when they watched television. He'd listen to her play the violin, and he'd let her dress him up like a girly dog. But, she drew the line at allowing him to sleep in her room because Buddy had a bad habit of lifting his leg. (Helen has gone through a lot of carpet cleaner.)
Buddy snored like an elephant's trumpet. If a dog could have sleep apnea, I would guess Buddy had it. He was so loud we'd have to turn up the television to hear above him. He could rattle the windows. I would never let him sleep in my room because the sound drove me nuts. So, each night he slept in my sister's room. I guess his snoring didn't bother her because they snored in tandem.
He's sleeping peacefully now. Helen gave the girls the option of being with him when he was put to sleep, and they went there to say their goodbyes. I'm proud of them for being so brave. I'm glad they were able to love him to the end. Now, he's scampering around the Rainbow Bridge with Lucy, White Dog, Abner, Daisy, Cleo, Mr. Dobbs, and Tramp. Goodbye little Buddy. We'll miss you.
Helen originally went to the SPCA to see about the basset hound up for adoption. When she met Abby, there was this sad-faced beagle hanging with her. They called him her brother, and if I remember correctly, Helen was given the option to take only the basset. But, if you know my sister, there was no leaving Buddy behind.
And it is a good thing she took him, because not only was he devoted to Abby, Abby the Diva Dog expected Buddy to attend to her. He was very good at warming a spot on the couch for Abby to sleep on when she was ready to roost. He attended to her hygiene, frequently cleaning her long basset ears. He was her punching bag when the grumpy girl wanted someone to snap at. He was always at her beck-and-call; poor Abby is going to be lost without him.
Buddy had one expression, old man serious. He looked the same way when he was happy as he did when he was hungry, sad, or lonely. He wasn't a snugly dog, but once he learned that pats on the head felt good, he'd nudge your hand and look at you with those sad eyes until you petted him. He backed away if Trixie or Abby pushed forward, but he'd wait and return later for more.
Buddy loved to eat. Anything. And I mean anything. I won't go into detail about how he supplemented his daily two bowls of diet food, but it was disgusting. One of my funniest memories of Buddy involves his voracious appetite. One night Helen made a roast for dinner. As we were cleaning up the kitchen and chatting away, our backs were to the table. We heard the telltale thump; Buddy had gotten on the table and he had the roast in his mouth. Well, it was an expensive hunk of meat, and Helen wasn't about to let him make off with it, so she grabbed the other end and a tug-of-war broke out. Helen was yelling at Buddy to drop it, he was hanging on tight, and Trixie snuck up and under the roast eating as much of it as she could grab. I guess Helen eventually won as he dropped the roast, but there were no midnight roast beef sandwiches for any of us.
I often thought of Buddy as Billie's dog. She'll tell you her guinea pig hates her and her bird ignores her, but Buddy was always there for her. She liked to take him for walks, in and out of the house. She'd snuggle with him on the couch when they watched television. He'd listen to her play the violin, and he'd let her dress him up like a girly dog. But, she drew the line at allowing him to sleep in her room because Buddy had a bad habit of lifting his leg. (Helen has gone through a lot of carpet cleaner.)
Buddy snored like an elephant's trumpet. If a dog could have sleep apnea, I would guess Buddy had it. He was so loud we'd have to turn up the television to hear above him. He could rattle the windows. I would never let him sleep in my room because the sound drove me nuts. So, each night he slept in my sister's room. I guess his snoring didn't bother her because they snored in tandem.
He's sleeping peacefully now. Helen gave the girls the option of being with him when he was put to sleep, and they went there to say their goodbyes. I'm proud of them for being so brave. I'm glad they were able to love him to the end. Now, he's scampering around the Rainbow Bridge with Lucy, White Dog, Abner, Daisy, Cleo, Mr. Dobbs, and Tramp. Goodbye little Buddy. We'll miss you.
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